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diff --git a/data/samples/wrapped/en/alices_adventures_in_wonderland.lewis_carroll.sst b/data/samples/wrapped/en/alices_adventures_in_wonderland.lewis_carroll.sst new file mode 100644 index 0000000..154a5d4 --- /dev/null +++ b/data/samples/wrapped/en/alices_adventures_in_wonderland.lewis_carroll.sst @@ -0,0 +1,3224 @@ +% SiSU 4.0.0 + +@title: Alice's Adventures in Wonderland + +@creator: + :author: Carroll, Lewis + +@date: + :published: 1865 + :created: 1865 + :available: 1865 + :added_to_site: 2004-04-12 + +% 2005-10-30 + +@rights: + :copyright: Lewis Carroll + :license: Public Domain + +@classify: + :topic_register: SiSU markup sample:book:novel; + book:novel:fiction:fantasy|children's fiction + +@links: + { Alice in Wonderland @ Wikipedia }http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alice%27s_Adventures_in_Wonderland + { Lewis Carroll @ Wikipedia }http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lewis_Carroll + +@make: + :headings: none; none; none; CHAPTER; + :breaks: new=3; break=4 + +:A~ @title @creator \\ The Millennium Fulcrum Edition 3.0 [text only] + +CHAPTER I - Down the Rabbit-Hole + +Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in it, `and what is the use of a book,' thought Alice `without pictures or conversation?' + +So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could, for the hot day +made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether the pleasure of making a +daisy-chain would be worth the trouble of getting up and picking the daisies, +when suddenly a White Rabbit with pink eyes ran close by her. + +There was nothing so VERY remarkable in that; nor did Alice think it so VERY +much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself, `Oh dear! Oh dear! I +shall be late!' (when she thought it over afterwards, it occurred to her that +she ought to have wondered at this, but at the time it all seemed quite +natural); but when the Rabbit actually TOOK A WATCH OUT OF ITS WAISTCOAT- +POCKET, and looked at it, and then hurried on, Alice started to her feet, for +it flashed across her mind that she had never before seen a rabbit with either +a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to take out of it, and burning with curiosity, +she ran across the field after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it +pop down a large rabbit-hole under the hedge. + +In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how in the +world she was to get out again. + +The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way, and then dipped +suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a moment to think about stopping +herself before she found herself falling down a very deep well. + +Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she had plenty of +time as she went down to look about her and to wonder what was going to happen +next. First, she tried to look down and make out what she was coming to, but it +was too dark to see anything; then she looked at the sides of the well, and +noticed that they were filled with cupboards and book-shelves; here and there +she saw maps and pictures hung upon pegs. She took down a jar from one of the +shelves as she passed; it was labelled `ORANGE MARMALADE', but to her great +disappointment it was empty: she did not like to drop the jar for fear of +killing somebody, so managed to put it into one of the cupboards as she fell +past it. + +`Well!' thought Alice to herself, `after such a fall as this, I shall think +nothing of tumbling down stairs! How brave they'll all think me at home! Why, I +wouldn't say anything about it, even if I fell off the top of the house!' +(Which was very likely true.) + +Down, down, down. Would the fall NEVER come to an end! `I wonder how many miles +I've fallen by this time?' she said aloud. `I must be getting somewhere near +the centre of the earth. Let me see: that would be four thousand miles down, I +think--' (for, you see, Alice had learnt several things of this sort in her +lessons in the schoolroom, and though this was not a VERY good opportunity for +showing off her knowledge, as there was no one to listen to her, still it was +good practice to say it over) `--yes, that's about the right distance--but then +I wonder what Latitude or Longitude I've got to?' (Alice had no idea what +Latitude was, or Longitude either, but thought they were nice grand words to +say.) + +Presently she began again. `I wonder if I shall fall right THROUGH the earth! +How funny it'll seem to come out among the people that walk with their heads +downward! The Antipathies, I think--' (she was rather glad there WAS no one +listening, this time, as it didn't sound at all the right word) `--but I shall +have to ask them what the name of the country is, you know. Please, Ma'am, is +this New Zealand or Australia?' (and she tried to curtsey as she spoke--fancy +CURTSEYING as you're falling through the air! Do you think you could manage +it?) `And what an ignorant little girl she'll think me for asking! No, it'll +never do to ask: perhaps I shall see it written up somewhere.' + +Down, down, down. There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon began talking +again. `Dinah'll miss me very much to-night, I should think!' (Dinah was the +cat.) `I hope they'll remember her saucer of milk at tea-time. Dinah my dear! I +wish you were down here with me! There are no mice in the air, I'm afraid, but +you might catch a bat, and that's very like a mouse, you know. But do cats eat +bats, I wonder?' And here Alice began to get rather sleepy, and went on saying +to herself, in a dreamy sort of way, `Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?' and +sometimes, `Do bats eat cats?' for, you see, as she couldn't answer either +question, it didn't much matter which way she put it. She felt that she was +dozing off, and had just begun to dream that she was walking hand in hand with +Dinah, and saying to her very earnestly, `Now, Dinah, tell me the truth: did +you ever eat a bat?' when suddenly, thump! thump! down she came upon a heap of +sticks and dry leaves, and the fall was over. + +Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet in a moment: she +looked up, but it was all dark overhead; before her was another long passage, +and the White Rabbit was still in sight, hurrying down it. There was not a +moment to be lost: away went Alice like the wind, and was just in time to hear +it say, as it turned a corner, `Oh my ears and whiskers, how late it's +getting!' She was close behind it when she turned the corner, but the Rabbit +was no longer to be seen: she found herself in a long, low hall, which was lit +up by a row of lamps hanging from the roof. + +There were doors all round the hall, but they were all locked; and when Alice +had been all the way down one side and up the other, trying every door, she +walked sadly down the middle, wondering how she was ever to get out again. + +Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged table, all made of solid glass; +there was nothing on it except a tiny golden key, and Alice's first thought was +that it might belong to one of the doors of the hall; but, alas! either the +locks were too large, or the key was too small, but at any rate it would not +open any of them. However, on the second time round, she came upon a low +curtain she had not noticed before, and behind it was a little door about +fifteen inches high: she tried the little golden key in the lock, and to her +great delight it fitted! + +Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small passage, not much +larger than a rat-hole: she knelt down and looked along the passage into the +loveliest garden you ever saw. How she longed to get out of that dark hall, and +wander about among those beds of bright flowers and those cool fountains, but +she could not even get her head through the doorway; `and even if my head would +go through,' thought poor Alice, `it would be of very little use without my +shoulders. Oh, how I wish I could shut up like a telescope! I think I could, if +I only know how to begin.' For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things had +happened lately, that Alice had begun to think that very few things indeed were +really impossible. + +There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so she went back to +the table, half hoping she might find another key on it, or at any rate a book +of rules for shutting people up like telescopes: this time she found a little +bottle on it, (`which certainly was not here before,' said Alice,) and round +the neck of the bottle was a paper label, with the words `DRINK ME' beautifully +printed on it in large letters. + +It was all very well to say `Drink me,' but the wise little Alice was not going +to do THAT in a hurry. `No, I'll look first,' she said, `and see whether it's +marked "poison" or not'; for she had read several nice little histories about +children who had got burnt, and eaten up by wild beasts and other unpleasant +things, all because they WOULD not remember the simple rules their friends had +taught them: such as, that a red-hot poker will burn you if you hold it too +long; and that if you cut your finger VERY deeply with a knife, it usually +bleeds; and she had never forgotten that, if you drink much from a bottle +marked `poison,' it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or later. + +However, this bottle was NOT marked `poison,' so Alice ventured to taste it, +and finding it very nice, (it had, in fact, a sort of mixed flavour of +cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple, roast turkey, toffee, and hot buttered +toast,) she very soon finished it off. + +poem{ + +* * * * ~# + + * * * ~# + +* * * * ~# + +}poem + +`What a curious feeling!' said Alice; `I must be shutting up like a telescope.' + +And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches high, and her face brightened +up at the thought that she was now the right size for going through the little +door into that lovely garden. First, however, she waited for a few minutes to +see if she was going to shrink any further: she felt a little nervous about +this; `for it might end, you know,' said Alice to herself, `in my going out +altogether, like a candle. I wonder what I should be like then?' And she tried +to fancy what the flame of a candle is like after the candle is blown out, for +she could not remember ever having seen such a thing. + +After a while, finding that nothing more happened, she decided on going into +the garden at once; but, alas for poor Alice! when she got to the door, she +found she had forgotten the little golden key, and when she went back to the +table for it, she found she could not possibly reach it: she could see it quite +plainly through the glass, and she tried her best to climb up one of the legs +of the table, but it was too slippery; and when she had tired herself out with +trying, the poor little thing sat down and cried. + +`Come, there's no use in crying like that!' said Alice to herself, rather +sharply; `I advise you to leave off this minute!' She generally gave herself +very good advice, (though she very seldom followed it), and sometimes she +scolded herself so severely as to bring tears into her eyes; and once she +remembered trying to box her own ears for having cheated herself in a game of +croquet she was playing against herself, for this curious child was very fond +of pretending to be two people. `But it's no use now,' thought poor Alice, `to +pretend to be two people! Why, there's hardly enough of me left to make ONE +respectable person!' + +Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under the table: she +opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on which the words `EAT ME' were +beautifully marked in currants. `Well, I'll eat it,' said Alice, `and if it +makes me grow larger, I can reach the key; and if it makes me grow smaller, I +can creep under the door; so either way I'll get into the garden, and I don't +care which happens!' + +She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself, `Which way? Which way?', +holding her hand on the top of her head to feel which way it was growing, and +she was quite surprised to find that she remained the same size: to be sure, +this generally happens when one eats cake, but Alice had got so much into the +way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen, that it seemed +quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the common way. + +So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake. + +poem{ + +* * * * ~# + + * * * ~# + +* * * * ~# + +}poem + +CHAPTER II - The Pool of Tears + +`Curiouser and curiouser!' cried Alice (she was so much surprised, that for the +moment she quite forgot how to speak good English); `now I'm opening out like +the largest telescope that ever was! Good-bye, feet!' (for when she looked down +at her feet, they seemed to be almost out of sight, they were getting so far +off). `Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder who will put on your shoes and +stockings for you now, dears? I'm sure _{I}_ shan't be able! I shall be a great +deal too far off to trouble myself about you: you must manage the best way you +can; --but I must be kind to them,' thought Alice, `or perhaps they won't walk +the way I want to go! Let me see: I'll give them a new pair of boots every +Christmas.' + +And she went on planning to herself how she would manage it. `They must go by +the carrier,' she thought; `and how funny it'll seem, sending presents to one's +own feet! And how odd the directions will look! + +poem{ + + ALICE'S RIGHT FOOT, ESQ. + HEARTHRUG, + NEAR THE FENDER, + (WITH ALICE'S LOVE). + +}poem + +Oh dear, what nonsense I'm talking!' + +Just then her head struck against the roof of the hall: in fact she was now +more than nine feet high, and she at once took up the little golden key and +hurried off to the garden door. + +Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do, lying down on one side, to look +through into the garden with one eye; but to get through was more hopeless than +ever: she sat down and began to cry again. + +`You ought to be ashamed of yourself,' said Alice, `a great girl like you,' +(she might well say this), `to go on crying in this way! Stop this moment, I +tell you!' But she went on all the same, shedding gallons of tears, until there +was a large pool all round her, about four inches deep and reaching half down +the hall. + +After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the distance, and she +hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming. It was the White Rabbit +returning, splendidly dressed, with a pair of white kid gloves in one hand and +a large fan in the other: he came trotting along in a great hurry, muttering to +himself as he came, `Oh! the Duchess, the Duchess! Oh! won't she be savage if +I've kept her waiting!' Alice felt so desperate that she was ready to ask help +of any one; so, when the Rabbit came near her, she began, in a low, timid +voice, `If you please, sir--' The Rabbit started violently, dropped the white +kid gloves and the fan, and skurried away into the darkness as hard as he could +go. + +Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very hot, she kept +fanning herself all the time she went on talking: `Dear, dear! How queer +everything is to-day! And yesterday things went on just as usual. I wonder if +I've been changed in the night? Let me think: was I the same when I got up this +morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm +not the same, the next question is, Who in the world am I? Ah, THAT'S the great +puzzle!' And she began thinking over all the children she knew that were of the +same age as herself, to see if she could have been changed for any of them. + +`I'm sure I'm not Ada,' she said, `for her hair goes in such long ringlets, and +mine doesn't go in ringlets at all; and I'm sure I can't be Mabel, for I know +all sorts of things, and she, oh! she knows such a very little! Besides, SHE'S +she, and I'm I, and--oh dear, how puzzling it all is! I'll try if I know all +the things I used to know. Let me see: four times five is twelve, and four +times six is thirteen, and four times seven is--oh dear! I shall never get to +twenty at that rate! However, the Multiplication Table doesn't signify: let's +try Geography. London is the capital of Paris, and Paris is the capital of +Rome, and Rome--no, THAT'S all wrong, I'm certain! I must have been changed for +Mabel! I'll try and say "How doth the little--"' and she crossed her hands on +her lap as if she were saying lessons, and began to repeat it, but her voice +sounded hoarse and strange, and the words did not come the same as they used to +do:-- + +poem{ + + `How doth the little crocodile + Improve his shining tail, + And pour the waters of the Nile + On every golden scale! + + `How cheerfully he seems to grin, + How neatly spread his claws, + And welcome little fishes in + With gently smiling jaws!' + +}poem + +"I'm sure those are not the right words," said poor Alice, and her eyes filled +with tears again as she went on, `I must be Mabel after all, and I shall have +to go and live in that poky little house, and have next to no toys to play +with, and oh! ever so many lessons to learn! No, I've made up my mind about it; +if I'm Mabel, I'll stay down here! It'll be no use their putting their heads +down and saying "Come up again, dear!" I shall only look up and say "Who am I +then? Tell me that first, and then, if I like being that person, I'll come up: +if not, I'll stay down here till I'm somebody else"--but, oh dear!' cried +Alice, with a sudden burst of tears, "I do wish they WOULD put their heads +down! I am so VERY tired of being all alone here!" + +As she said this she looked down at her hands, and was surprised to see that +she had put on one of the Rabbit's little white kid gloves while she was +talking. `How CAN I have done that?' she thought. `I must be growing small +again.' She got up and went to the table to measure herself by it, and found +that, as nearly as she could guess, she was now about two feet high, and was +going on shrinking rapidly: she soon found out that the cause of this was the +fan she was holding, and she dropped it hastily, just in time to avoid +shrinking away altogether. + +`That WAS a narrow escape!' said Alice, a good deal frightened at the sudden +change, but very glad to find herself still in existence; `and now for the +garden!' and she ran with all speed back to the little door: but, alas! the +little door was shut again, and the little golden key was lying on the glass +table as before, `and things are worse than ever,' thought the poor child, `for +I never was so small as this before, never! And I declare it's too bad, that it +is!' + +As she said these words her foot slipped, and in another moment, splash! she +was up to her chin in salt water. Her first idea was that she had somehow +fallen into the sea, `and in that case I can go back by railway,' she said to +herself. (Alice had been to the seaside once in her life, and had come to the +general conclusion, that wherever you go to on the English coast you find a +number of bathing machines in the sea, some children digging in the sand with +wooden spades, then a row of lodging houses, and behind them a railway +station.) However, she soon made out that she was in the pool of tears which +she had wept when she was nine feet high. + +`I wish I hadn't cried so much!' said Alice, as she swam about, trying to find +her way out. `I shall be punished for it now, I suppose, by being drowned in my +own tears! That WILL be a queer thing, to be sure! However, everything is queer +to-day.' + +Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool a little way off, and +she swam nearer to make out what it was: at first she thought it must be a +walrus or hippopotamus, but then she remembered how small she was now, and she +soon made out that it was only a mouse that had slipped in like herself. + +`Would it be of any use, now,' thought Alice, `to speak to this mouse? +Everything is so out-of-the-way down here, that I should think very likely it +can talk: at any rate, there's no harm in trying.' So she began: `O Mouse, do +you know the way out of this pool? I am very tired of swimming about here, O +Mouse!' (Alice thought this must be the right way of speaking to a mouse: she +had never done such a thing before, but she remembered having seen in her +brother's Latin Grammar, `A mouse--of a mouse--to a mouse--a mouse--O mouse!') +The Mouse looked at her rather inquisitively, and seemed to her to wink with +one of its little eyes, but it said nothing. + +`Perhaps it doesn't understand English,' thought Alice; `I daresay it's a +French mouse, come over with William the Conqueror.' (For, with all her +knowledge of history, Alice had no very clear notion how long ago anything had +happened.) So she began again: `Ou est ma chatte?' which was the first sentence +in her French lesson-book. The Mouse gave a sudden leap out of the water, and +seemed to quiver all over with fright. `Oh, I beg your pardon!' cried Alice +hastily, afraid that she had hurt the poor animal's feelings. `I quite forgot +you didn't like cats.' + +`Not like cats!' cried the Mouse, in a shrill, passionate voice. `Would YOU +like cats if you were me?' + +`Well, perhaps not,' said Alice in a soothing tone: `don't be angry about it. +And yet I wish I could show you our cat Dinah: I think you'd take a fancy to +cats if you could only see her. She is such a dear quiet thing,' Alice went on, +half to herself, as she swam lazily about in the pool, `and she sits purring so +nicely by the fire, licking her paws and washing her face--and she is such a +nice soft thing to nurse--and she's such a capital one for catching mice--oh, I +beg your pardon!' cried Alice again, for this time the Mouse was bristling all +over, and she felt certain it must be really offended. `We won't talk about her +any more if you'd rather not.' + +`We indeed!' cried the Mouse, who was trembling down to the end of his tail. +`As if I would talk on such a subject! Our family always HATED cats: nasty, +low, vulgar things! Don't let me hear the name again!' + +`I won't indeed!' said Alice, in a great hurry to change the subject of +conversation. `Are you--are you fond--of--of dogs?' The Mouse did not answer, +so Alice went on eagerly: `There is such a nice little dog near our house I +should like to show you! A little bright-eyed terrier, you know, with oh, such +long curly brown hair! And it'll fetch things when you throw them, and it'll +sit up and beg for its dinner, and all sorts of things--I can't remember half +of them--and it belongs to a farmer, you know, and he says it's so useful, it's +worth a hundred pounds! He says it kills all the rats and--oh dear!' cried +Alice in a sorrowful tone, `I'm afraid I've offended it again!' For the Mouse +was swimming away from her as hard as it could go, and making quite a commotion +in the pool as it went. + +So she called softly after it, `Mouse dear! Do come back again, and we won't +talk about cats or dogs either, if you don't like them!' When the Mouse heard +this, it turned round and swam slowly back to her: its face was quite pale +(with passion, Alice thought), and it said in a low trembling voice, `Let us +get to the shore, and then I'll tell you my history, and you'll understand why +it is I hate cats and dogs.' + +It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite crowded with the birds +and animals that had fallen into it: there were a Duck and a Dodo, a Lory and +an Eaglet, and several other curious creatures. Alice led the way, and the +whole party swam to the shore. + +CHAPTER III - A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale + +They were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the bank--the birds +with draggled feathers, the animals with their fur clinging close to them, and +all dripping wet, cross, and uncomfortable. + +The first question of course was, how to get dry again: they had a consultation +about this, and after a few minutes it seemed quite natural to Alice to find +herself talking familiarly with them, as if she had known them all her life. +Indeed, she had quite a long argument with the Lory, who at last turned sulky, +and would only say, `I am older than you, and must know better'; and this Alice +would not allow without knowing how old it was, and, as the Lory positively +refused to tell its age, there was no more to be said. + +At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among them, called +out, `Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! I'LL soon make you dry enough!' +They all sat down at once, in a large ring, with the Mouse in the middle. Alice +kept her eyes anxiously fixed on it, for she felt sure she would catch a bad +cold if she did not get dry very soon. + +`Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air, `are you all ready? This is the +driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please! "William the Conqueror, +whose cause was favoured by the pope, was soon submitted to by the English, who +wanted leaders, and had been of late much accustomed to usurpation and +conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria--"' + +`Ugh!' said the Lory, with a shiver. + +`I beg your pardon!' said the Mouse, frowning, but very politely: `Did you +speak?' + +`Not I!' said the Lory hastily. + +`I thought you did,' said the Mouse. `--I proceed. "Edwin and Morcar, the earls +of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him: and even Stigand, the patriotic +archbishop of Canterbury, found it advisable--"' + +`Found WHAT?' said the Duck. + +`Found IT,' the Mouse replied rather crossly: `of course you know what "it" +means.' + +`I know what "it" means well enough, when I find a thing,' said the Duck: `it's +generally a frog or a worm. The question is, what did the archbishop find?' + +The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on, `"--found it +advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William and offer him the crown. +William's conduct at first was moderate. But the insolence of his Normans--" +How are you getting on now, my dear?' it continued, turning to Alice as it +spoke. + +`As wet as ever,' said Alice in a melancholy tone: `it doesn't seem to dry me +at all.' + +`In that case,' said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, `I move that the +meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more energetic remedies--' + +`Speak English!' said the Eaglet. `I don't know the meaning of half those long +words, and, what's more, I don't believe you do either!' And the Eaglet bent +down its head to hide a smile: some of the other birds tittered audibly. + +`What I was going to say,' said the Dodo in an offended tone, `was, that the +best thing to get us dry would be a Caucus-race.' + +`What IS a Caucus-race?' said Alice; not that she wanted much to know, but the +Dodo had paused as if it thought that SOMEBODY ought to speak, and no one else +seemed inclined to say anything. + +`Why,' said the Dodo, `the best way to explain it is to do it.' (And, as you +might like to try the thing yourself, some winter day, I will tell you how the +Dodo managed it.) + +First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, (`the exact shape +doesn't matter,' it said,) and then all the party were placed along the course, +here and there. There was no `One, two, three, and away,' but they began +running when they liked, and left off when they liked, so that it was not easy +to know when the race was over. However, when they had been running half an +hour or so, and were quite dry again, the Dodo suddenly called out `The race is +over!' and they all crowded round it, panting, and asking, `But who has won?' + +This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of thought, and it +sat for a long time with one finger pressed upon its forehead (the position in +which you usually see Shakespeare, in the pictures of him), while the rest +waited in silence. At last the Dodo said, `EVERYBODY has won, and all must have +prizes.' + +`But who is to give the prizes?' quite a chorus of voices asked. + +`Why, SHE, of course,' said the Dodo, pointing to Alice with one finger; and +the whole party at once crowded round her, calling out in a confused way, +`Prizes! Prizes!' + +Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her hand in her pocket, +and pulled out a box of comfits, (luckily the salt water had not got into it), +and handed them round as prizes. There was exactly one a-piece all round. + +`But she must have a prize herself, you know,' said the Mouse. + +`Of course,' the Dodo replied very gravely. `What else have you got in your +pocket?' he went on, turning to Alice. + +`Only a thimble,' said Alice sadly. + +`Hand it over here,' said the Dodo. + +Then they all crowded round her once more, while the Dodo solemnly presented +the thimble, saying `We beg your acceptance of this elegant thimble'; and, when +it had finished this short speech, they all cheered. + +Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they all looked so grave that +she did not dare to laugh; and, as she could not think of anything to say, she +simply bowed, and took the thimble, looking as solemn as she could. + +The next thing was to eat the comfits: this caused some noise and confusion, as +the large birds complained that they could not taste theirs, and the small ones +choked and had to be patted on the back. However, it was over at last, and they +sat down again in a ring, and begged the Mouse to tell them something more. + +`You promised to tell me your history, you know,' said Alice, `and why it is +you hate--C and D,' she added in a whisper, half afraid that it would be +offended again. + +`Mine is a long and a sad tale!' said the Mouse, turning to Alice, and sighing. + +`It IS a long tail, certainly,' said Alice, looking down with wonder at the +Mouse's tail; `but why do you call it sad?' And she kept on puzzling about it +while the Mouse was speaking, so that her idea of the tale was something like +this:-- + +poem{ + + `Fury said to a + mouse, That he + met in the + house, + "Let us + both go to + law: I will + prosecute + YOU. --Come, + I'll take no + denial; We + must have a + trial: For + really this + morning I've + nothing + to do." + Said the + mouse to the + cur, "Such + a trial, + dear Sir, + With + no jury + or judge, + would be + wasting + our + breath." + "I'll be + judge, I'll + be jury," + Said + cunning + old Fury: + "I'll + try the + whole + cause, + and + condemn + you + to + death."' + +}poem + +`You are not attending!' said the Mouse to Alice severely. `What are you +thinking of?' + +`I beg your pardon,' said Alice very humbly: `you had got to the fifth bend, I +think?' + +`I had NOT!' cried the Mouse, sharply and very angrily. + +`A knot!' said Alice, always ready to make herself useful, and looking +anxiously about her. `Oh, do let me help to undo it!' + +`I shall do nothing of the sort,' said the Mouse, getting up and walking away. +`You insult me by talking such nonsense!' + +`I didn't mean it!' pleaded poor Alice. `But you're so easily offended, you +know!' + +The Mouse only growled in reply. + +`Please come back and finish your story!' Alice called after it; and the others +all joined in chorus, `Yes, please do!' but the Mouse only shook its head +impatiently, and walked a little quicker. + +`What a pity it wouldn't stay!' sighed the Lory, as soon as it was quite out of +sight; and an old Crab took the opportunity of saying to her daughter `Ah, my +dear! Let this be a lesson to you never to lose YOUR temper!' `Hold your +tongue, Ma!' said the young Crab, a little snappishly. `You're enough to try +the patience of an oyster!' + +`I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!' said Alice aloud, addressing nobody +in particular. `She'd soon fetch it back!' + +`And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the question?' said the Lory. + +Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk about her pet: `Dinah's +our cat. And she's such a capital one for catching mice you can't think! And +oh, I wish you could see her after the birds! Why, she'll eat a little bird as +soon as look at it!' + +This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party. Some of the birds +hurried off at once: one old Magpie began wrapping itself up very carefully, +remarking, `I really must be getting home; the night-air doesn't suit my +throat!' and a Canary called out in a trembling voice to its children, `Come +away, my dears! It's high time you were all in bed!' On various pretexts they +all moved off, and Alice was soon left alone. + +`I wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah!' she said to herself in a melancholy tone. +`Nobody seems to like her, down here, and I'm sure she's the best cat in the +world! Oh, my dear Dinah! I wonder if I shall ever see you any more!' And here +poor Alice began to cry again, for she felt very lonely and low-spirited. In a +little while, however, she again heard a little pattering of footsteps in the +distance, and she looked up eagerly, half hoping that the Mouse had changed his +mind, and was coming back to finish his story. + +CHAPTER IV - The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill + +It was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and looking anxiously +about as it went, as if it had lost something; and she heard it muttering to +itself `The Duchess! The Duchess! Oh my dear paws! Oh my fur and whiskers! +She'll get me executed, as sure as ferrets are ferrets! Where CAN I have +dropped them, I wonder?' Alice guessed in a moment that it was looking for the +fan and the pair of white kid gloves, and she very good-naturedly began hunting +about for them, but they were nowhere to be seen--everything seemed to have +changed since her swim in the pool, and the great hall, with the glass table +and the little door, had vanished completely. + +Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she went hunting about, and called out +to her in an angry tone, `Why, Mary Ann, what ARE you doing out here? Run home +this moment, and fetch me a pair of gloves and a fan! Quick, now!' And Alice +was so much frightened that she ran off at once in the direction it pointed to, +without trying to explain the mistake it had made. + +`He took me for his housemaid,' she said to herself as she ran. `How surprised +he'll be when he finds out who I am! But I'd better take him his fan and +gloves--that is, if I can find them.' As she said this, she came upon a neat +little house, on the door of which was a bright brass plate with the name `W. +RABBIT' engraved upon it. She went in without knocking, and hurried upstairs, +in great fear lest she should meet the real Mary Ann, and be turned out of the +house before she had found the fan and gloves. + +`How queer it seems,' Alice said to herself, `to be going messages for a +rabbit! I suppose Dinah'll be sending me on messages next!' And she began +fancying the sort of thing that would happen: `"Miss Alice! Come here directly, +and get ready for your walk!" "Coming in a minute, nurse! But I've got to see +that the mouse doesn't get out." Only I don't think,' Alice went on, `that +they'd let Dinah stop in the house if it began ordering people about like +that!' + +By this time she had found her way into a tidy little room with a table in the +window, and on it (as she had hoped) a fan and two or three pairs of tiny white +kid gloves: she took up the fan and a pair of the gloves, and was just going to +leave the room, when her eye fell upon a little bottle that stood near the +looking- glass. There was no label this time with the words `DRINK ME,' but +nevertheless she uncorked it and put it to her lips. `I know SOMETHING +interesting is sure to happen,' she said to herself, `whenever I eat or drink +anything; so I'll just see what this bottle does. I do hope it'll make me grow +large again, for really I'm quite tired of being such a tiny little thing!' + +It did so indeed, and much sooner than she had expected: before she had drunk +half the bottle, she found her head pressing against the ceiling, and had to +stoop to save her neck from being broken. She hastily put down the bottle, +saying to herself `That's quite enough--I hope I shan't grow any more--As it +is, I can't get out at the door--I do wish I hadn't drunk quite so much!' + +Alas! it was too late to wish that! She went on growing, and growing, and very +soon had to kneel down on the floor: in another minute there was not even room +for this, and she tried the effect of lying down with one elbow against the +door, and the other arm curled round her head. Still she went on growing, and, +as a last resource, she put one arm out of the window, and one foot up the +chimney, and said to herself `Now I can do no more, whatever happens. What WILL +become of me?' + +Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle had now had its full effect, and she +grew no larger: still it was very uncomfortable, and, as there seemed to be no +sort of chance of her ever getting out of the room again, no wonder she felt +unhappy. + +`It was much pleasanter at home,' thought poor Alice, `when one wasn't always +growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about by mice and rabbits. I +almost wish I hadn't gone down that rabbit-hole--and yet--and yet--it's rather +curious, you know, this sort of life! I do wonder what CAN have happened to me! +When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that kind of thing never happened, +and now here I am in the middle of one! There ought to be a book written about +me, that there ought! And when I grow up, I'll write one--but I'm grown up +now,' she added in a sorrowful tone; `at least there's no room to grow up any +more HERE.' + +`But then,' thought Alice, `shall I NEVER get any older than I am now? That'll +be a comfort, one way--never to be an old woman-- but then--always to have +lessons to learn! Oh, I shouldn't like THAT!' + +`Oh, you foolish Alice!' she answered herself. `How can you learn lessons in +here? Why, there's hardly room for YOU, and no room at all for any +lesson-books!' + +And so she went on, taking first one side and then the other, and making quite +a conversation of it altogether; but after a few minutes she heard a voice +outside, and stopped to listen. + +`Mary Ann! Mary Ann!' said the voice. `Fetch me my gloves this moment!' Then +came a little pattering of feet on the stairs. Alice knew it was the Rabbit +coming to look for her, and she trembled till she shook the house, quite +forgetting that she was now about a thousand times as large as the Rabbit, and +had no reason to be afraid of it. + +Presently the Rabbit came up to the door, and tried to open it; but, as the +door opened inwards, and Alice's elbow was pressed hard against it, that +attempt proved a failure. Alice heard it say to itself `Then I'll go round and +get in at the window.' + +`THAT you won't' thought Alice, and, after waiting till she fancied she heard +the Rabbit just under the window, she suddenly spread out her hand, and made a +snatch in the air. She did not get hold of anything, but she heard a little +shriek and a fall, and a crash of broken glass, from which she concluded that +it was just possible it had fallen into a cucumber-frame, or something of the +sort. + +Next came an angry voice--the Rabbit's--`Pat! Pat! Where are you?' And then a +voice she had never heard before, `Sure then I'm here! Digging for apples, yer +honour!' + +`Digging for apples, indeed!' said the Rabbit angrily. `Here! Come and help me +out of THIS!' (Sounds of more broken glass.) + +`Now tell me, Pat, what's that in the window?' + +`Sure, it's an arm, yer honour!' (He pronounced it `arrum.') + +`An arm, you goose! Who ever saw one that size? Why, it fills the whole +window!' + +`Sure, it does, yer honour: but it's an arm for all that.' + +`Well, it's got no business there, at any rate: go and take it away!' + +There was a long silence after this, and Alice could only hear whispers now and +then; such as, `Sure, I don't like it, yer honour, at all, at all!' `Do as I +tell you, you coward!' and at last she spread out her hand again, and made +another snatch in the air. This time there were TWO little shrieks, and more +sounds of broken glass. `What a number of cucumber-frames there must be!' +thought Alice. `I wonder what they'll do next! As for pulling me out of the +window, I only wish they COULD! I'm sure I don't want to stay in here any +longer!' + +She waited for some time without hearing anything more: at last came a rumbling +of little cartwheels, and the sound of a good many voices all talking together: +she made out the words: `Where's the other ladder?--Why, I hadn't to bring but +one; Bill's got the other--Bill! fetch it here, lad!--Here, put 'em up at this +corner--No, tie 'em together first--they don't reach half high enough yet--Oh! +they'll do well enough; don't be particular-- Here, Bill! catch hold of this +rope--Will the roof bear?--Mind that loose slate--Oh, it's coming down! Heads +below!' (a loud crash)--`Now, who did that?--It was Bill, I fancy--Who's to go +down the chimney?--Nay, I shan't! YOU do it!--That I won't, then!--Bill's to go +down--Here, Bill! the master says you're to go down the chimney!' + +`Oh! So Bill's got to come down the chimney, has he?' said Alice to herself. +`Shy, they seem to put everything upon Bill! I wouldn't be in Bill's place for +a good deal: this fireplace is narrow, to be sure; but I THINK I can kick a +little!' + +She drew her foot as far down the chimney as she could, and waited till she +heard a little animal (she couldn't guess of what sort it was) scratching and +scrambling about in the chimney close above her: then, saying to herself `This +is Bill,' she gave one sharp kick, and waited to see what would happen next. + +The first thing she heard was a general chorus of `There goes Bill!' then the +Rabbit's voice along--`Catch him, you by the hedge!' then silence, and then +another confusion of voices--`Hold up his head--Brandy now--Don't choke +him--How was it, old fellow? What happened to you? Tell us all about it!' + +Last came a little feeble, squeaking voice, (`That's Bill,' thought Alice,) +`Well, I hardly know--No more, thank ye; I'm better now--but I'm a deal too +flustered to tell you--all I know is, something comes at me like a +Jack-in-the-box, and up I goes like a sky-rocket!' + +`So you did, old fellow!' said the others. + +`We must burn the house down!' said the Rabbit's voice; and Alice called out as +loud as she could, `If you do. I'll set Dinah at you!' + +There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice thought to herself, `I wonder +what they WILL do next! If they had any sense, they'd take the roof off.' After +a minute or two, they began moving about again, and Alice heard the Rabbit say, +`A barrowful will do, to begin with.' + +`A barrowful of WHAT?' thought Alice; but she had not long to doubt, for the +next moment a shower of little pebbles came rattling in at the window, and some +of them hit her in the face. `I'll put a stop to this,' she said to herself, +and shouted out, `You'd better not do that again!' which produced another dead +silence. + +Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were all turning into little +cakes as they lay on the floor, and a bright idea came into her head. `If I eat +one of these cakes,' she thought, `it's sure to make SOME change in my size; +and as it can't possibly make me larger, it must make me smaller, I suppose.' + +So she swallowed one of the cakes, and was delighted to find that she began +shrinking directly. As soon as she was small enough to get through the door, +she ran out of the house, and found quite a crowd of little animals and birds +waiting outside. The poor little Lizard, Bill, was in the middle, being held up +by two guinea-pigs, who were giving it something out of a bottle. They all made +a rush at Alice the moment she appeared; but she ran off as hard as she could, +and soon found herself safe in a thick wood. + +`The first thing I've got to do,' said Alice to herself, as she wandered about +in the wood, `is to grow to my right size again; and the second thing is to +find my way into that lovely garden. I think that will be the best plan.' + +It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and very neatly and simply arranged; +the only difficulty was, that she had not the smallest idea how to set about +it; and while she was peering about anxiously among the trees, a little sharp +bark just over her head made her look up in a great hurry. + +An enormous puppy was looking down at her with large round eyes, and feebly +stretching out one paw, trying to touch her. `Poor little thing!' said Alice, +in a coaxing tone, and she tried hard to whistle to it; but she was terribly +frightened all the time at the thought that it might be hungry, in which case +it would be very likely to eat her up in spite of all her coaxing. + +Hardly knowing what she did, she picked up a little bit of stick, and held it +out to the puppy; whereupon the puppy jumped into the air off all its feet at +once, with a yelp of delight, and rushed at the stick, and made believe to +worry it; then Alice dodged behind a great thistle, to keep herself from being +run over; and the moment she appeared on the other side, the puppy made another +rush at the stick, and tumbled head over heels in its hurry to get hold of it; +then Alice, thinking it was very like having a game of play with a cart-horse, +and expecting every moment to be trampled under its feet, ran round the thistle +again; then the puppy began a series of short charges at the stick, running a +very little way forwards each time and a long way back, and barking hoarsely +all the while, till at last it sat down a good way off, panting, with its +tongue hanging out of its mouth, and its great eyes half shut. + +This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making her escape; so she set off +at once, and ran till she was quite tired and out of breath, and till the +puppy's bark sounded quite faint in the distance. + +`And yet what a dear little puppy it was!' said Alice, as she leant against a +buttercup to rest herself, and fanned herself with one of the leaves: `I should +have liked teaching it tricks very much, if--if I'd only been the right size to +do it! Oh dear! I'd nearly forgotten that I've got to grow up again! Let me +see--how IS it to be managed? I suppose I ought to eat or drink something or +other; but the great question is, what?' + +The great question certainly was, what? Alice looked all round her at the +flowers and the blades of grass, but she did not see anything that looked like +the right thing to eat or drink under the circumstances. There was a large +mushroom growing near her, about the same height as herself; and when she had +looked under it, and on both sides of it, and behind it, it occurred to her +that she might as well look and see what was on the top of it. + +She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped over the edge of the mushroom, +and her eyes immediately met those of a large caterpillar, that was sitting on +the top with its arms folded, quietly smoking a long hookah, and taking not the +smallest notice of her or of anything else. + +CHAPTER V - Advice from a Caterpillar + +The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in silence: at +last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth, and addressed her in a +languid, sleepy voice. + +`Who are YOU?' said the Caterpillar. + +This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather +shyly, `I--I hardly know, sir, just at present-- at least I know who I WAS when +I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since +then.' + +`What do you mean by that?' said the Caterpillar sternly. `Explain yourself!' + +`I can't explain MYSELF, I'm afraid, sir' said Alice, `because I'm not myself, +you see.' + +`I don't see,' said the Caterpillar. + +`I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly,' Alice replied very politely, `for I +can't understand it myself to begin with; and being so many different sizes in +a day is very confusing.' + +`It isn't,' said the Caterpillar. + +`Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet,' said Alice; `but when you have to +turn into a chrysalis--you will some day, you know--and then after that into a +butterfly, I should think you'll feel it a little queer, won't you?' + +`Not a bit,' said the Caterpillar. + +`Well, perhaps your feelings may be different,' said Alice; `all I know is, it +would feel very queer to ME.' + +`You!' said the Caterpillar contemptuously. `Who are YOU?' + +Which brought them back again to the beginning of the conversation. Alice felt +a little irritated at the Caterpillar's making such VERY short remarks, and she +drew herself up and said, very gravely, `I think, you ought to tell me who YOU +are, first.' + +`Why?' said the Caterpillar. + +Here was another puzzling question; and as Alice could not think of any good +reason, and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in a VERY unpleasant state of mind, +she turned away. + +`Come back!' the Caterpillar called after her. `I've something important to +say!' + +This sounded promising, certainly: Alice turned and came back again. + +`Keep your temper,' said the Caterpillar. + +`Is that all?' said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well as she could. + +`No,' said the Caterpillar. + +Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing else to do, and +perhaps after all it might tell her something worth hearing. For some minutes +it puffed away without speaking, but at last it unfolded its arms, took the +hookah out of its mouth again, and said, `So you think you're changed, do you?' + +`I'm afraid I am, sir,' said Alice; `I can't remember things as I used--and I +don't keep the same size for ten minutes together!' + +`Can't remember WHAT things?' said the Caterpillar. + +`Well, I've tried to say "HOW DOTH THE LITTLE BUSY BEE," but it all came +different!' Alice replied in a very melancholy voice. + +`Repeat, "YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM,"' said the Caterpillar. + +Alice folded her hands, and began:-- + +poem{ + + `You are old, Father William,' the young man said, + `And your hair has become very white; + And yet you incessantly stand on your head-- + Do you think, at your age, it is right?' + + `In my youth,' Father William replied to his son, + `I feared it might injure the brain; + But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none, + Why, I do it again and again.' + + `You are old,' said the youth, `as I mentioned before, + And have grown most uncommonly fat; + Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door-- + Pray, what is the reason of that?' + + `In my youth,' said the sage, as he shook his grey locks, + `I kept all my limbs very supple + By the use of this ointment--one shilling the box-- + Allow me to sell you a couple?' + + `You are old,' said the youth, `and your jaws are too weak + For anything tougher than suet; + Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak-- + Pray how did you manage to do it?' + + `In my youth,' said his father, `I took to the law, + And argued each case with my wife; + And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw, + Has lasted the rest of my life.' + + `You are old,' said the youth, `one would hardly suppose + That your eye was as steady as ever; + Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose-- + What made you so awfully clever?' + + `I have answered three questions, and that is enough,' + Said his father; `don't give yourself airs! + Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff? + Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!' + +}poem + +`That is not said right,' said the Caterpillar. + +`Not QUITE right, I'm afraid,' said Alice, timidly; `some of the words have got +altered.' + +`It is wrong from beginning to end,' said the Caterpillar decidedly, and there +was silence for some minutes. + +The Caterpillar was the first to speak. + +`What size do you want to be?' it asked. + +`Oh, I'm not particular as to size,' Alice hastily replied; `only one doesn't +like changing so often, you know.' + +`I DON'T know,' said the Caterpillar. + +Alice said nothing: she had never been so much contradicted in her life before, +and she felt that she was losing her temper. + +`Are you content now?' said the Caterpillar. + +`Well, I should like to be a LITTLE larger, sir, if you wouldn't mind,' said +Alice: `three inches is such a wretched height to be.' + +`It is a very good height indeed!' said the Caterpillar angrily, rearing itself +upright as it spoke (it was exactly three inches high). + +`But I'm not used to it!' pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone. And she thought +of herself, `I wish the creatures wouldn't be so easily offended!' + +`You'll get used to it in time,' said the Caterpillar; and it put the hookah +into its mouth and began smoking again. + +This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again. In a minute or +two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth and yawned once or twice, +and shook itself. Then it got down off the mushroom, and crawled away in the +grass, merely remarking as it went, `One side will make you grow taller, and +the other side will make you grow shorter.' + +`One side of WHAT? The other side of WHAT?' thought Alice to herself. + +`Of the mushroom,' said the Caterpillar, just as if she had asked it aloud; and +in another moment it was out of sight. + +Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a minute, trying to +make out which were the two sides of it; and as it was perfectly round, she +found this a very difficult question. However, at last she stretched her arms +round it as far as they would go, and broke off a bit of the edge with each +hand. + +`And now which is which?' she said to herself, and nibbled a little of the +right-hand bit to try the effect: the next moment she felt a violent blow +underneath her chin: it had struck her foot! + +She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, but she felt that +there was no time to be lost, as she was shrinking rapidly; so she set to work +at once to eat some of the other bit. Her chin was pressed so closely against +her foot, that there was hardly room to open her mouth; but she did it at last, +and managed to swallow a morsel of the lefthand bit. + +poem{ + +* * * * ~# + + * * * ~# + +* * * * ~# + +}poem + +`Come, my head's free at last!' said Alice in a tone of delight, which changed +into alarm in another moment, when she found that her shoulders were nowhere to +be found: all she could see, when she looked down, was an immense length of +neck, which seemed to rise like a stalk out of a sea of green leaves that lay +far below her. + +`What CAN all that green stuff be?' said Alice. `And where HAVE my shoulders +got to? And oh, my poor hands, how is it I can't see you?' She was moving them +about as she spoke, but no result seemed to follow, except a little shaking +among the distant green leaves. + +As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to her head, she tried +to get her head down to them, and was delighted to find that her neck would +bend about easily in any direction, like a serpent. She had just succeeded in +curving it down into a graceful zigzag, and was going to dive in among the +leaves, which she found to be nothing but the tops of the trees under which she +had been wandering, when a sharp hiss made her draw back in a hurry: a large +pigeon had flown into her face, and was beating her violently with its wings. + +`Serpent!' screamed the Pigeon. + +`I'm NOT a serpent!' said Alice indignantly. `Let me alone!' + +`Serpent, I say again!' repeated the Pigeon, but in a more subdued tone, and +added with a kind of sob, `I've tried every way, and nothing seems to suit +them!' + +`I haven't the least idea what you're talking about,' said Alice. + +`I've tried the roots of trees, and I've tried banks, and I've tried hedges,' +the Pigeon went on, without attending to her; `but those serpents! There's no +pleasing them!' + +Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought there was no use in saying +anything more till the Pigeon had finished. + +`As if it wasn't trouble enough hatching the eggs,' said the Pigeon; `but I +must be on the look-out for serpents night and day! Why, I haven't had a wink +of sleep these three weeks!' + +`I'm very sorry you've been annoyed,' said Alice, who was beginning to see its +meaning. + +`And just as I'd taken the highest tree in the wood,' continued the Pigeon, +raising its voice to a shriek, `and just as I was thinking I should be free of +them at last, they must needs come wriggling down from the sky! Ugh, Serpent!' + +`But I'm NOT a serpent, I tell you!' said Alice. `I'm a--I'm a--' + +`Well! WHAT are you?' said the Pigeon. `I can see you're trying to invent +something!' + +`I--I'm a little girl,' said Alice, rather doubtfully, as she remembered the +number of changes she had gone through that day. + +`A likely story indeed!' said the Pigeon in a tone of the deepest contempt. +`I've seen a good many little girls in my time, but never ONE with such a neck +as that! No, no! You're a serpent; and there's no use denying it. I suppose +you'll be telling me next that you never tasted an egg!' + +`I HAVE tasted eggs, certainly,' said Alice, who was a very truthful child; +`but little girls eat eggs quite as much as serpents do, you know.' + +`I don't believe it,' said the Pigeon; `but if they do, why then they're a kind +of serpent, that's all I can say.' + +This was such a new idea to Alice, that she was quite silent for a minute or +two, which gave the Pigeon the opportunity of adding, `You're looking for eggs, +I know THAT well enough; and what does it matter to me whether you're a little +girl or a serpent?' + +`It matters a good deal to ME,' said Alice hastily; `but I'm not looking for +eggs, as it happens; and if I was, I shouldn't want YOURS: I don't like them +raw.' + +`Well, be off, then!' said the Pigeon in a sulky tone, as it settled down again +into its nest. Alice crouched down among the trees as well as she could, for +her neck kept getting entangled among the branches, and every now and then she +had to stop and untwist it. After a while she remembered that she still held +the pieces of mushroom in her hands, and she set to work very carefully, +nibbling first at one and then at the other, and growing sometimes taller and +sometimes shorter, until she had succeeded in bringing herself down to her +usual height. + +It was so long since she had been anything near the right size, that it felt +quite strange at first; but she got used to it in a few minutes, and began +talking to herself, as usual. `Come, there's half my plan done now! How +puzzling all these changes are! I'm never sure what I'm going to be, from one +minute to another! However, I've got back to my right size: the next thing is, +to get into that beautiful garden--how IS that to be done, I wonder?' As she +said this, she came suddenly upon an open place, with a little house in it +about four feet high. `Whoever lives there,' thought Alice, `it'll never do to +come upon them THIS size: why, I should frighten them out of their wits!' So +she began nibbling at the righthand bit again, and did not venture to go near +the house till she had brought herself down to nine inches high. + +CHAPTER VI - Pig and Pepper + +For a minute or two she stood looking at the house, and wondering what to do +next, when suddenly a footman in livery came running out of the wood--(she +considered him to be a footman because he was in livery: otherwise, judging by +his face only, she would have called him a fish)--and rapped loudly at the door +with his knuckles. It was opened by another footman in livery, with a round +face, and large eyes like a frog; and both footmen, Alice noticed, had powdered +hair that curled all over their heads. She felt very curious to know what it +was all about, and crept a little way out of the wood to listen. + +The Fish-Footman began by producing from under his arm a great letter, nearly +as large as himself, and this he handed over to the other, saying, in a solemn +tone, `For the Duchess. An invitation from the Queen to play croquet.' The +Frog-Footman repeated, in the same solemn tone, only changing the order of the +words a little, `From the Queen. An invitation for the Duchess to play +croquet.' + +Then they both bowed low, and their curls got entangled together. + +Alice laughed so much at this, that she had to run back into the wood for fear +of their hearing her; and when she next peeped out the Fish-Footman was gone, +and the other was sitting on the ground near the door, staring stupidly up into +the sky. + +Alice went timidly up to the door, and knocked. + +`There's no sort of use in knocking,' said the Footman, `and that for two +reasons. First, because I'm on the same side of the door as you are; secondly, +because they're making such a noise inside, no one could possibly hear you.' +And certainly there was a most extraordinary noise going on within--a constant +howling and sneezing, and every now and then a great crash, as if a dish or +kettle had been broken to pieces. + +`Please, then,' said Alice, `how am I to get in?' + +`There might be some sense in your knocking,' the Footman went on without +attending to her, `if we had the door between us. For instance, if you were +INSIDE, you might knock, and I could let you out, you know.' He was looking up +into the sky all the time he was speaking, and this Alice thought decidedly +uncivil. `But perhaps he can't help it,' she said to herself; `his eyes are so +VERY nearly at the top of his head. But at any rate he might answer +questions.--How am I to get in?' she repeated, aloud. + +`I shall sit here,' the Footman remarked, `till tomorrow--' + +At this moment the door of the house opened, and a large plate came skimming +out, straight at the Footman's head: it just grazed his nose, and broke to +pieces against one of the trees behind him. + +`--or next day, maybe,' the Footman continued in the same tone, exactly as if +nothing had happened. + +`How am I to get in?' asked Alice again, in a louder tone. + +`ARE you to get in at all?' said the Footman. `That's the first question, you +know.' + +It was, no doubt: only Alice did not like to be told so. `It's really +dreadful,' she muttered to herself, `the way all the creatures argue. It's +enough to drive one crazy!' + +The Footman seemed to think this a good opportunity for repeating his remark, +with variations. `I shall sit here,' he said, `on and off, for days and days.' + +`But what am I to do?' said Alice. + +`Anything you like,' said the Footman, and began whistling. + +`Oh, there's no use in talking to him,' said Alice desperately: `he's perfectly +idiotic!' And she opened the door and went in. + +The door led right into a large kitchen, which was full of smoke from one end +to the other: the Duchess was sitting on a three-legged stool in the middle, +nursing a baby; the cook was leaning over the fire, stirring a large cauldron +which seemed to be full of soup. + +`There's certainly too much pepper in that soup!' Alice said to herself, as +well as she could for sneezing. + +There was certainly too much of it in the air. Even the Duchess sneezed +occasionally; and as for the baby, it was sneezing and howling alternately +without a moment's pause. The only things in the kitchen that did not sneeze, +were the cook, and a large cat which was sitting on the hearth and grinning +from ear to ear. + +`Please would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, for she was not quite +sure whether it was good manners for her to speak first, `why your cat grins +like that?' + +`It's a Cheshire cat,' said the Duchess, `and that's why. Pig!' + +She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice quite jumped; but +she saw in another moment that it was addressed to the baby, and not to her, so +she took courage, and went on again:-- + +`I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I didn't know that +cats COULD grin.' + +`They all can,' said the Duchess; `and most of 'em do.' + +`I don't know of any that do,' Alice said very politely, feeling quite pleased +to have got into a conversation. + +`You don't know much,' said the Duchess; `and that's a fact.' + +Alice did not at all like the tone of this remark, and thought it would be as +well to introduce some other subject of conversation. While she was trying to +fix on one, the cook took the cauldron of soup off the fire, and at once set to +work throwing everything within her reach at the Duchess and the baby --the +fire-irons came first; then followed a shower of saucepans, plates, and dishes. +The Duchess took no notice of them even when they hit her; and the baby was +howling so much already, that it was quite impossible to say whether the blows +hurt it or not. + +`Oh, PLEASE mind what you're doing!' cried Alice, jumping up and down in an +agony of terror. `Oh, there goes his PRECIOUS nose'; as an unusually large +saucepan flew close by it, and very nearly carried it off. + +`If everybody minded their own business,' the Duchess said in a hoarse growl, +`the world would go round a deal faster than it does.' + +`Which would NOT be an advantage,' said Alice, who felt very glad to get an +opportunity of showing off a little of her knowledge. `Just think of what work +it would make with the day and night! You see the earth takes twenty-four hours +to turn round on its axis--' + +`Talking of axes,' said the Duchess, `chop off her head!' + +Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook, to see if she meant to take the +hint; but the cook was busily stirring the soup, and seemed not to be +listening, so she went on again: `Twenty-four hours, I THINK; or is it twelve? +I--' + +`Oh, don't bother ME,' said the Duchess; `I never could abide figures!' And +with that she began nursing her child again, singing a sort of lullaby to it as +she did so, and giving it a violent shake at the end of every line: + +poem{ + + `Speak roughly to your little boy, + And beat him when he sneezes: + He only does it to annoy, + Because he knows it teases.' + + CHORUS. + + (In which the cook and the baby joined):-- + + `Wow! wow! wow!' + +}poem + +While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song, she kept tossing the baby +violently up and down, and the poor little thing howled so, that Alice could +hardly hear the words:-- + +poem{ + + `I speak severely to my boy, + I beat him when he sneezes; + For he can thoroughly enjoy + The pepper when he pleases!' + + CHORUS. + + `Wow! wow! wow!' + +}poem + +`Here! you may nurse it a bit, if you like!' the Duchess said to Alice, +flinging the baby at her as she spoke. `I must go and get ready to play croquet +with the Queen,' and she hurried out of the room. The cook threw a frying-pan +after her as she went out, but it just missed her. + +Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, as it was a queer-shaped little +creature, and held out its arms and legs in all directions, `just like a +star-fish,' thought Alice. The poor little thing was snorting like a +steam-engine when she caught it, and kept doubling itself up and straightening +itself out again, so that altogether, for the first minute or two, it was as +much as she could do to hold it. + +As soon as she had made out the proper way of nursing it, (which was to twist +it up into a sort of knot, and then keep tight hold of its right ear and left +foot, so as to prevent its undoing itself,) she carried it out into the open +air. `IF I don't take this child away with me,' thought Alice, `they're sure to +kill it in a day or two: wouldn't it be murder to leave it behind?' She said +the last words out loud, and the little thing grunted in reply (it had left off +sneezing by this time). `Don't grunt,' said Alice; `that's not at all a proper +way of expressing yourself.' + +The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously into its face to see +what was the matter with it. There could be no doubt that it had a VERY turn-up +nose, much more like a snout than a real nose; also its eyes were getting +extremely small for a baby: altogether Alice did not like the look of the thing +at all. `But perhaps it was only sobbing,' she thought, and looked into its +eyes again, to see if there were any tears. + +No, there were no tears. `If you're going to turn into a pig, my dear,' said +Alice, seriously, `I'll have nothing more to do with you. Mind now!' The poor +little thing sobbed again (or grunted, it was impossible to say which), and +they went on for some while in silence. + +Alice was just beginning to think to herself, `Now, what am I to do with this +creature when I get it home?' when it grunted again, so violently, that she +looked down into its face in some alarm. This time there could be NO mistake +about it: it was neither more nor less than a pig, and she felt that it would +be quite absurd for her to carry it further. + +So she set the little creature down, and felt quite relieved to see it trot +away quietly into the wood. `If it had grown up,' she said to herself, `it +would have made a dreadfully ugly child: but it makes rather a handsome pig, I +think.' And she began thinking over other children she knew, who might do very +well as pigs, and was just saying to herself, `if one only knew the right way +to change them--' when she was a little startled by seeing the Cheshire Cat +sitting on a bough of a tree a few yards off. + +The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice. It looked good- natured, she thought: +still it had VERY long claws and a great many teeth, so she felt that it ought +to be treated with respect. + +`Cheshire Puss,' she began, rather timidly, as she did not at all know whether +it would like the name: however, it only grinned a little wider. `Come, it's +pleased so far,' thought Alice, and she went on. `Would you tell me, please, +which way I ought to go from here?' + +`That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat. + +`I don't much care where--' said Alice. + +`Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat. + +`--so long as I get SOMEWHERE,' Alice added as an explanation. + +`Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, `if you only walk long enough.' + +Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another question. `What +sort of people live about here?' + +`In THAT direction,' the Cat said, waving its right paw round, `lives a Hatter: +and in THAT direction,' waving the other paw, `lives a March Hare. Visit either +you like: they're both mad.' + +`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked. + +`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're +mad.' + +`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice. + +`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.' + +Alice didn't think that proved it at all; however, she went on `And how do you +know that you're mad?' + +`To begin with,' said the Cat, `a dog's not mad. You grant that?' + +`I suppose so,' said Alice. + +`Well, then,' the Cat went on, `you see, a dog growls when it's angry, and wags +its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when +I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.' + +`I call it purring, not growling,' said Alice. + +`Call it what you like,' said the Cat. `Do you play croquet with the Queen +to-day?' + +`I should like it very much,' said Alice, `but I haven't been invited yet.' + +`You'll see me there,' said the Cat, and vanished. + +Alice was not much surprised at this, she was getting so used to queer things +happening. While she was looking at the place where it had been, it suddenly +appeared again. + +`By-the-bye, what became of the baby?' said the Cat. `I'd nearly forgotten to +ask.' + +`It turned into a pig,' Alice quietly said, just as if it had come back in a +natural way. + +`I thought it would,' said the Cat, and vanished again. + +Alice waited a little, half expecting to see it again, but it did not appear, +and after a minute or two she walked on in the direction in which the March +Hare was said to live. `I've seen hatters before,' she said to herself; `the +March Hare will be much the most interesting, and perhaps as this is May it +won't be raving mad--at least not so mad as it was in March.' As she said this, +she looked up, and there was the Cat again, sitting on a branch of a tree. + +`Did you say pig, or fig?' said the Cat. + +`I said pig,' replied Alice; `and I wish you wouldn't keep appearing and +vanishing so suddenly: you make one quite giddy.' + +`All right,' said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite slowly, beginning +with the end of the tail, and ending with the grin, which remained some time +after the rest of it had gone. + +`Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin,' thought Alice; `but a grin +without a cat! It's the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!' + +She had not gone much farther before she came in sight of the house of the +March Hare: she thought it must be the right house, because the chimneys were +shaped like ears and the roof was thatched with fur. It was so large a house, +that she did not like to go nearer till she had nibbled some more of the +lefthand bit of mushroom, and raised herself to about two feet high: even then +she walked up towards it rather timidly, saying to herself `Suppose it should +be raving mad after all! I almost wish I'd gone to see the Hatter instead!' + +CHAPTER VII - A Mad Tea-Party + +There was a table set out under a tree in front of the house, and the March +Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it: a Dormouse was sitting between them, +fast asleep, and the other two were using it as a cushion, resting their elbows +on it, and talking over its head. `Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse,' +thought Alice; `only, as it's asleep, I suppose it doesn't mind.' + +The table was a large one, but the three were all crowded together at one +corner of it: `No room! No room!' they cried out when they saw Alice coming. +`There's PLENTY of room!' said Alice indignantly, and she sat down in a large +arm-chair at one end of the table. + +`Have some wine,' the March Hare said in an encouraging tone. + +Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it but tea. `I don't +see any wine,' she remarked. + +`There isn't any,' said the March Hare. + +`Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it,' said Alice angrily. + +`It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being invited,' said the March +Hare. + +`I didn't know it was YOUR table,' said Alice; `it's laid for a great many more +than three.' + +`Your hair wants cutting,' said the Hatter. He had been looking at Alice for +some time with great curiosity, and this was his first speech. + +`You should learn not to make personal remarks,' Alice said with some severity; +`it's very rude.' + +The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all he SAID was, `Why +is a raven like a writing-desk?' + +`Come, we shall have some fun now!' thought Alice. `I'm glad they've begun +asking riddles.--I believe I can guess that,' she added aloud. + +`Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?' said the March +Hare. + +`Exactly so,' said Alice. + +`Then you should say what you mean,' the March Hare went on. + +`I do,' Alice hastily replied; `at least--at least I mean what I say--that's +the same thing, you know.' + +`Not the same thing a bit!' said the Hatter. `You might just as well say that +"I see what I eat" is the same thing as "I eat what I see"!' + +`You might just as well say,' added the March Hare, `that "I like what I get" +is the same thing as "I get what I like"!' + +`You might just as well say,' added the Dormouse, who seemed to be talking in +his sleep, `that "I breathe when I sleep" is the same thing as "I sleep when I +breathe"!' + +`It IS the same thing with you,' said the Hatter, and here the conversation +dropped, and the party sat silent for a minute, while Alice thought over all +she could remember about ravens and writing-desks, which wasn't much. + +The Hatter was the first to break the silence. `What day of the month is it?' +he said, turning to Alice: he had taken his watch out of his pocket, and was +looking at it uneasily, shaking it every now and then, and holding it to his +ear. + +Alice considered a little, and then said `The fourth.' + +`Two days wrong!' sighed the Hatter. `I told you butter wouldn't suit the +works!' he added looking angrily at the March Hare. + +`It was the BEST butter,' the March Hare meekly replied. + +`Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well,' the Hatter grumbled: `you +shouldn't have put it in with the bread-knife.' + +The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then he dipped it into +his cup of tea, and looked at it again: but he could think of nothing better to +say than his first remark, `It was the BEST butter, you know.' + +Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity. `What a funny +watch!' she remarked. `It tells the day of the month, and doesn't tell what +o'clock it is!' + +`Why should it?' muttered the Hatter. `Does YOUR watch tell you what year it +is?' + +`Of course not,' Alice replied very readily: `but that's because it stays the +same year for such a long time together.' + +`Which is just the case with MINE,' said the Hatter. + +Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter's remark seemed to have no sort of +meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English. `I don't quite understand +you,' she said, as politely as she could. + +`The Dormouse is asleep again,' said the Hatter, and he poured a little hot tea +upon its nose. + +The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, without opening its eyes, +`Of course, of course; just what I was going to remark myself.' + +`Have you guessed the riddle yet?' the Hatter said, turning to Alice again. + +`No, I give it up,' Alice replied: `what's the answer?' + +`I haven't the slightest idea,' said the Hatter. + +`Nor I,' said the March Hare. + +Alice sighed wearily. `I think you might do something better with the time,' +she said, `than waste it in asking riddles that have no answers.' + +`If you knew Time as well as I do,' said the Hatter, `you wouldn't talk about +wasting IT. It's HIM.' + +`I don't know what you mean,' said Alice. + +`Of course you don't!' the Hatter said, tossing his head contemptuously. `I +dare say you never even spoke to Time!' + +`Perhaps not,' Alice cautiously replied: `but I know I have to beat time when I +learn music.' + +`Ah! that accounts for it,' said the Hatter. `He won't stand beating. Now, if +you only kept on good terms with him, he'd do almost anything you liked with +the clock. For instance, suppose it were nine o'clock in the morning, just time +to begin lessons: you'd only have to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the +clock in a twinkling! Half-past one, time for dinner!' + +(`I only wish it was,' the March Hare said to itself in a whisper.) + +`That would be grand, certainly,' said Alice thoughtfully: `but then--I +shouldn't be hungry for it, you know.' + +`Not at first, perhaps,' said the Hatter: `but you could keep it to half-past +one as long as you liked.' + +`Is that the way YOU manage?' Alice asked. + +The Hatter shook his head mournfully. `Not I!' he replied. `We quarrelled last +March--just before HE went mad, you know--' (pointing with his tea spoon at the +March Hare,) `--it was at the great concert given by the Queen of Hearts, and I +had to sing + +poem{ + + "Twinkle, twinkle, little bat! + How I wonder what you're at!" + +}poem + +You know the song, perhaps?' + +`I've heard something like it,' said Alice. + +`It goes on, you know,' the Hatter continued, `in this way:-- + +poem{ + + "Up above the world you fly, + Like a tea-tray in the sky. + Twinkle, twinkle--"' + +}poem + +Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in its sleep `Twinkle, +twinkle, twinkle, twinkle--' and went on so long that they had to pinch it to +make it stop. + +`Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse,' said the Hatter, `when the Queen +jumped up and bawled out, "He's murdering the time! Off with his head!"' + +`How dreadfully savage!' exclaimed Alice. + +`And ever since that,' the Hatter went on in a mournful tone, `he won't do a +thing I ask! It's always six o'clock now.' + +A bright idea came into Alice's head. `Is that the reason so many tea-things +are put out here?' she asked. + +`Yes, that's it,' said the Hatter with a sigh: `it's always tea-time, and we've +no time to wash the things between whiles.' + +`Then you keep moving round, I suppose?' said Alice. + +`Exactly so,' said the Hatter: `as the things get used up.' + +`But what happens when you come to the beginning again?' Alice ventured to ask. + +`Suppose we change the subject,' the March Hare interrupted, yawning. `I'm +getting tired of this. I vote the young lady tells us a story.' + +`I'm afraid I don't know one,' said Alice, rather alarmed at the proposal. + +`Then the Dormouse shall!' they both cried. `Wake up, Dormouse!' And they +pinched it on both sides at once. + +The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. `I wasn't asleep,' he said in a hoarse, +feeble voice: `I heard every word you fellows were saying.' + +`Tell us a story!' said the March Hare. + +`Yes, please do!' pleaded Alice. + +`And be quick about it,' added the Hatter, `or you'll be asleep again before +it's done.' + +`Once upon a time there were three little sisters,' the Dormouse began in a +great hurry; `and their names were Elsie, Lacie, and Tillie; and they lived at +the bottom of a well--' + +`What did they live on?' said Alice, who always took a great interest in +questions of eating and drinking. + +`They lived on treacle,' said the Dormouse, after thinking a minute or two. + +`They couldn't have done that, you know,' Alice gently remarked; `they'd have +been ill.' + +`So they were,' said the Dormouse; `VERY ill.' + +Alice tried to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary ways of living would +be like, but it puzzled her too much, so she went on: `But why did they live at +the bottom of a well?' + +`Take some more tea,' the March Hare said to Alice, very earnestly. + +`I've had nothing yet,' Alice replied in an offended tone, `so I can't take +more.' + +`You mean you can't take LESS,' said the Hatter: `it's very easy to take MORE +than nothing.' + +`Nobody asked YOUR opinion,' said Alice. + +`Who's making personal remarks now?' the Hatter asked triumphantly. + +Alice did not quite know what to say to this: so she helped herself to some tea +and bread-and-butter, and then turned to the Dormouse, and repeated her +question. `Why did they live at the bottom of a well?' + +The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and then said, `It +was a treacle-well.' + +`There's no such thing!' Alice was beginning very angrily, but the Hatter and +the March Hare went `Sh! sh!' and the Dormouse sulkily remarked, `If you can't +be civil, you'd better finish the story for yourself.' + +`No, please go on!' Alice said very humbly; `I won't interrupt again. I dare +say there may be ONE.' + +`One, indeed!' said the Dormouse indignantly. However, he consented to go on. +`And so these three little sisters--they were learning to draw, you know--' + +`What did they draw?' said Alice, quite forgetting her promise. + +`Treacle,' said the Dormouse, without considering at all this time. + +`I want a clean cup,' interrupted the Hatter: `let's all move one place on.' + +He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him: the March Hare moved +into the Dormouse's place, and Alice rather unwillingly took the place of the +March Hare. The Hatter was the only one who got any advantage from the change: +and Alice was a good deal worse off than before, as the March Hare had just +upset the milk-jug into his plate. + +Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began very cautiously: +`But I don't understand. Where did they draw the treacle from?' + +`You can draw water out of a water-well,' said the Hatter; `so I should think +you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well--eh, stupid?' + +`But they were IN the well,' Alice said to the Dormouse, not choosing to notice +this last remark. + +`Of course they were', said the Dormouse; `--well in.' + +This answer so confused poor Alice, that she let the Dormouse go on for some +time without interrupting it. + +`They were learning to draw,' the Dormouse went on, yawning and rubbing its +eyes, for it was getting very sleepy; `and they drew all manner of +things--everything that begins with an M--' + +`Why with an M?' said Alice. + +`Why not?' said the March Hare. + +Alice was silent. + +The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time, and was going off into a doze; +but, on being pinched by the Hatter, it woke up again with a little shriek, and +went on: `--that begins with an M, such as mouse-traps, and the moon, and +memory, and muchness-- you know you say things are "much of a muchness"--did +you ever see such a thing as a drawing of a muchness?' + +`Really, now you ask me,' said Alice, very much confused, `I don't think--' + +`Then you shouldn't talk,' said the Hatter. + +This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear: she got up in great +disgust, and walked off; the Dormouse fell asleep instantly, and neither of the +others took the least notice of her going, though she looked back once or +twice, half hoping that they would call after her: the last time she saw them, +they were trying to put the Dormouse into the teapot. + +`At any rate I'll never go THERE again!' said Alice as she picked her way +through the wood. `It's the stupidest tea-party I ever was at in all my life!' + +Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a door leading +right into it. `That's very curious!' she thought. `But everything's curious +today. I think I may as well go in at once.' And in she went. + +Once more she found herself in the long hall, and close to the little glass +table. `Now, I'll manage better this time,' she said to herself, and began by +taking the little golden key, and unlocking the door that led into the garden. +Then she went to work nibbling at the mushroom (she had kept a piece of it in +her pocket) till she was about a foot high: then she walked down the little +passage: and THEN--she found herself at last in the beautiful garden, among the +bright flower-beds and the cool fountains. + +CHAPTER VIII - The Queen's Croquet-Ground + +A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden: the roses growing on +it were white, but there were three gardeners at it, busily painting them red. +Alice thought this a very curious thing, and she went nearer to watch them, and +just as she came up to them she heard one of them say, `Look out now, Five! +Don't go splashing paint over me like that!' + +`I couldn't help it,' said Five, in a sulky tone; `Seven jogged my elbow.' + +On which Seven looked up and said, `That's right, Five! Always lay the blame on +others!' + +`YOU'D better not talk!' said Five. `I heard the Queen say only yesterday you +deserved to be beheaded!' + +`What for?' said the one who had spoken first. + +`That's none of YOUR business, Two!' said Seven. + +`Yes, it IS his business!' said Five, `and I'll tell him--it was for bringing +the cook tulip-roots instead of onions.' + +Seven flung down his brush, and had just begun `Well, of all the unjust +things--' when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice, as she stood watching them, +and he checked himself suddenly: the others looked round also, and all of them +bowed low. + +`Would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, `why you are painting those +roses?' + +Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. Two began in a low voice, `Why +the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to have been a RED rose-tree, and +we put a white one in by mistake; and if the Queen was to find it out, we +should all have our heads cut off, you know. So you see, Miss, we're doing our +best, afore she comes, to--' At this moment Five, who had been anxiously +looking across the garden, called out `The Queen! The Queen!' and the three +gardeners instantly threw themselves flat upon their faces. There was a sound +of many footsteps, and Alice looked round, eager to see the Queen. + +First came ten soldiers carrying clubs; these were all shaped like the three +gardeners, oblong and flat, with their hands and feet at the corners: next the +ten courtiers; these were ornamented all over with diamonds, and walked two and +two, as the soldiers did. After these came the royal children; there were ten +of them, and the little dears came jumping merrily along hand in hand, in +couples: they were all ornamented with hearts. Next came the guests, mostly +Kings and Queens, and among them Alice recognised the White Rabbit: it was +talking in a hurried nervous manner, smiling at everything that was said, and +went by without noticing her. Then followed the Knave of Hearts, carrying the +King's crown on a crimson velvet cushion; and, last of all this grand +procession, came THE KING AND QUEEN OF HEARTS. + +Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought not to lie down on her face like +the three gardeners, but she could not remember ever having heard of such a +rule at processions; `and besides, what would be the use of a procession,' +thought she, `if people had all to lie down upon their faces, so that they +couldn't see it?' So she stood still where she was, and waited. + +When the procession came opposite to Alice, they all stopped and looked at her, +and the Queen said severely `Who is this?' She said it to the Knave of Hearts, +who only bowed and smiled in reply. + +`Idiot!' said the Queen, tossing her head impatiently; and, turning to Alice, +she went on, `What's your name, child?' + +`My name is Alice, so please your Majesty,' said Alice very politely; but she +added, to herself, `Why, they're only a pack of cards, after all. I needn't be +afraid of them!' + +`And who are THESE?' said the Queen, pointing to the three gardeners who were +lying round the rosetree; for, you see, as they were lying on their faces, and +the pattern on their backs was the same as the rest of the pack, she could not +tell whether they were gardeners, or soldiers, or courtiers, or three of her +own children. + +`How should I know?' said Alice, surprised at her own courage. `It's no +business of MINE.' + +The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at her for a moment like +a wild beast, screamed `Off with her head! Off--' + +`Nonsense!' said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and the Queen was silent. + +The King laid his hand upon her arm, and timidly said `Consider, my dear: she +is only a child!' + +The Queen turned angrily away from him, and said to the Knave `Turn them over!' + +The Knave did so, very carefully, with one foot. + +`Get up!' said the Queen, in a shrill, loud voice, and the three gardeners +instantly jumped up, and began bowing to the King, the Queen, the royal +children, and everybody else. + +`Leave off that!' screamed the Queen. `You make me giddy.' And then, turning to +the rose-tree, she went on, `What HAVE you been doing here?' + +`May it please your Majesty,' said Two, in a very humble tone, going down on +one knee as he spoke, `we were trying--' + +`I see!' said the Queen, who had meanwhile been examining the roses. `Off with +their heads!' and the procession moved on, three of the soldiers remaining +behind to execute the unfortunate gardeners, who ran to Alice for protection. + +`You shan't be beheaded!' said Alice, and she put them into a large flower-pot +that stood near. The three soldiers wandered about for a minute or two, looking +for them, and then quietly marched off after the others. + +`Are their heads off?' shouted the Queen. + +`Their heads are gone, if it please your Majesty!' the soldiers shouted in +reply. + +`That's right!' shouted the Queen. `Can you play croquet?' + +The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, as the question was evidently +meant for her. + +`Yes!' shouted Alice. + +`Come on, then!' roared the Queen, and Alice joined the procession, wondering +very much what would happen next. + +`It's--it's a very fine day!' said a timid voice at her side. She was walking +by the White Rabbit, who was peeping anxiously into her face. + +`Very,' said Alice: `--where's the Duchess?' + +`Hush! Hush!' said the Rabbit in a low, hurried tone. He looked anxiously over +his shoulder as he spoke, and then raised himself upon tiptoe, put his mouth +close to her ear, and whispered `She's under sentence of execution.' + +`What for?' said Alice. + +`Did you say "What a pity!"?' the Rabbit asked. + +`No, I didn't,' said Alice: `I don't think it's at all a pity. I said "What +for?"' + +`She boxed the Queen's ears--' the Rabbit began. Alice gave a little scream of +laughter. `Oh, hush!' the Rabbit whispered in a frightened tone. `The Queen +will hear you! You see, she came rather late, and the Queen said--' + +`Get to your places!' shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder, and people began +running about in all directions, tumbling up against each other; however, they +got settled down in a minute or two, and the game began. Alice thought she had +never seen such a curious croquet-ground in her life; it was all ridges and +furrows; the balls were live hedgehogs, the mallets live flamingoes, and the +soldiers had to double themselves up and to stand on their hands and feet, to +make the arches. + +The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in managing her flamingo: she +succeeded in getting its body tucked away, comfortably enough, under her arm, +with its legs hanging down, but generally, just as she had got its neck nicely +straightened out, and was going to give the hedgehog a blow with its head, it +WOULD twist itself round and look up in her face, with such a puzzled +expression that she could not help bursting out laughing: and when she had got +its head down, and was going to begin again, it was very provoking to find that +the hedgehog had unrolled itself, and was in the act of crawling away: besides +all this, there was generally a ridge or furrow in the way wherever she wanted +to send the hedgehog to, and, as the doubled-up soldiers were always getting up +and walking off to other parts of the ground, Alice soon came to the conclusion +that it was a very difficult game indeed. + +The players all played at once without waiting for turns, quarrelling all the +while, and fighting for the hedgehogs; and in a very short time the Queen was +in a furious passion, and went stamping about, and shouting `Off with his +head!' or `Off with her head!' about once in a minute. + +Alice began to feel very uneasy: to be sure, she had not as yet had any dispute +with the Queen, but she knew that it might happen any minute, `and then,' +thought she, `what would become of me? They're dreadfully fond of beheading +people here; the great wonder is, that there's any one left alive!' + +She was looking about for some way of escape, and wondering whether she could +get away without being seen, when she noticed a curious appearance in the air: +it puzzled her very much at first, but, after watching it a minute or two, she +made it out to be a grin, and she said to herself `It's the Cheshire Cat: now I +shall have somebody to talk to.' + +`How are you getting on?' said the Cat, as soon as there was mouth enough for +it to speak with. + +Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded. `It's no use speaking to +it,' she thought, `till its ears have come, or at least one of them.' In +another minute the whole head appeared, and then Alice put down her flamingo, +and began an account of the game, feeling very glad she had someone to listen +to her. The Cat seemed to think that there was enough of it now in sight, and +no more of it appeared. + +`I don't think they play at all fairly,' Alice began, in rather a complaining +tone, `and they all quarrel so dreadfully one can't hear oneself speak--and +they don't seem to have any rules in particular; at least, if there are, nobody +attends to them--and you've no idea how confusing it is all the things being +alive; for instance, there's the arch I've got to go through next walking about +at the other end of the ground--and I should have croqueted the Queen's +hedgehog just now, only it ran away when it saw mine coming!' + +`How do you like the Queen?' said the Cat in a low voice. + +`Not at all,' said Alice: `she's so extremely--' Just then she noticed that the +Queen was close behind her, listening: so she went on, `--likely to win, that +it's hardly worth while finishing the game.' + +The Queen smiled and passed on. + +`Who ARE you talking to?' said the King, going up to Alice, and looking at the +Cat's head with great curiosity. + +`It's a friend of mine--a Cheshire Cat,' said Alice: `allow me to introduce +it.' + +`I don't like the look of it at all,' said the King: `however, it may kiss my +hand if it likes.' + +`I'd rather not,' the Cat remarked. + +`Don't be impertinent,' said the King, `and don't look at me like that!' He got +behind Alice as he spoke. + +`A cat may look at a king,' said Alice. `I've read that in some book, but I +don't remember where.' + +`Well, it must be removed,' said the King very decidedly, and he called the +Queen, who was passing at the moment, `My dear! I wish you would have this cat +removed!' + +The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great or small. `Off +with his head!' she said, without even looking round. + +`I'll fetch the executioner myself,' said the King eagerly, and he hurried off. + +Alice thought she might as well go back, and see how the game was going on, as +she heard the Queen's voice in the distance, screaming with passion. She had +already heard her sentence three of the players to be executed for having +missed their turns, and she did not like the look of things at all, as the game +was in such confusion that she never knew whether it was her turn or not. So +she went in search of her hedgehog. + +The hedgehog was engaged in a fight with another hedgehog, which seemed to +Alice an excellent opportunity for croqueting one of them with the other: the +only difficulty was, that her flamingo was gone across to the other side of the +garden, where Alice could see it trying in a helpless sort of way to fly up +into a tree. + +By the time she had caught the flamingo and brought it back, the fight was +over, and both the hedgehogs were out of sight: `but it doesn't matter much,' +thought Alice, `as all the arches are gone from this side of the ground.' So +she tucked it away under her arm, that it might not escape again, and went back +for a little more conversation with her friend. + +When she got back to the Cheshire Cat, she was surprised to find quite a large +crowd collected round it: there was a dispute going on between the executioner, +the King, and the Queen, who were all talking at once, while all the rest were +quite silent, and looked very uncomfortable. + +The moment Alice appeared, she was appealed to by all three to settle the +question, and they repeated their arguments to her, though, as they all spoke +at once, she found it very hard indeed to make out exactly what they said. + +The executioner's argument was, that you couldn't cut off a head unless there +was a body to cut it off from: that he had never had to do such a thing before, +and he wasn't going to begin at HIS time of life. + +The King's argument was, that anything that had a head could be beheaded, and +that you weren't to talk nonsense. + +The Queen's argument was, that if something wasn't done about it in less than +no time she'd have everybody executed, all round. (It was this last remark that +had made the whole party look so grave and anxious.) + +Alice could think of nothing else to say but `It belongs to the Duchess: you'd +better ask HER about it.' + +`She's in prison,' the Queen said to the executioner: `fetch her here.' And the +executioner went off like an arrow. + +The Cat's head began fading away the moment he was gone, and, by the time he +had come back with the Duchess, it had entirely disappeared; so the King and +the executioner ran wildly up and down looking for it, while the rest of the +party went back to the game. + +CHAPTER IX - The Mock Turtle's Story + +`You can't think how glad I am to see you again, you dear old thing!' said the +Duchess, as she tucked her arm affectionately into Alice's, and they walked off +together. + +Alice was very glad to find her in such a pleasant temper, and thought to +herself that perhaps it was only the pepper that had made her so savage when +they met in the kitchen. + +`When I'M a Duchess,' she said to herself, (not in a very hopeful tone though), +`I won't have any pepper in my kitchen AT ALL. Soup does very well +without--Maybe it's always pepper that makes people hot-tempered,' she went on, +very much pleased at having found out a new kind of rule, `and vinegar that +makes them sour--and camomile that makes them bitter--and--and barley-sugar and +such things that make children sweet-tempered. I only wish people knew that: +then they wouldn't be so stingy about it, you know--' + +She had quite forgotten the Duchess by this time, and was a little startled +when she heard her voice close to her ear. `You're thinking about something, my +dear, and that makes you forget to talk. I can't tell you just now what the +moral of that is, but I shall remember it in a bit.' + +`Perhaps it hasn't one,' Alice ventured to remark. + +`Tut, tut, child!' said the Duchess. `Everything's got a moral, if only you can +find it.' And she squeezed herself up closer to Alice's side as she spoke. + +Alice did not much like keeping so close to her: first, because the Duchess was +VERY ugly; and secondly, because she was exactly the right height to rest her +chin upon Alice's shoulder, and it was an uncomfortably sharp chin. However, +she did not like to be rude, so she bore it as well as she could. + +`The game's going on rather better now,' she said, by way of keeping up the +conversation a little. + +`'Tis so,' said the Duchess: `and the moral of that is--"Oh, 'tis love, 'tis +love, that makes the world go round!"' + +`Somebody said,' Alice whispered, `that it's done by everybody minding their +own business!' + +`Ah, well! It means much the same thing,' said the Duchess, digging her sharp +little chin into Alice's shoulder as she added, `and the moral of THAT +is--"Take care of the sense, and the sounds will take care of themselves."' + +`How fond she is of finding morals in things!' Alice thought to herself. + +`I dare say you're wondering why I don't put my arm round your waist,' the +Duchess said after a pause: `the reason is, that I'm doubtful about the temper +of your flamingo. Shall I try the experiment?' + +`HE might bite,' Alice cautiously replied, not feeling at all anxious to have +the experiment tried. + +`Very true,' said the Duchess: `flamingoes and mustard both bite. And the moral +of that is--"Birds of a feather flock together."' + +`Only mustard isn't a bird,' Alice remarked. + +`Right, as usual,' said the Duchess: `what a clear way you have of putting +things!' + +`It's a mineral, I THINK,' said Alice. + +`Of course it is,' said the Duchess, who seemed ready to agree to everything +that Alice said; `there's a large mustard-mine near here. And the moral of that +is--"The more there is of mine, the less there is of yours."' + +`Oh, I know!' exclaimed Alice, who had not attended to this last remark, `it's +a vegetable. It doesn't look like one, but it is.' + +`I quite agree with you,' said the Duchess; `and the moral of that is--"Be what +you would seem to be"--or if you'd like it put more simply--"Never imagine +yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you +were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have +appeared to them to be otherwise."' + +`I think I should understand that better,' Alice said very politely, `if I had +it written down: but I can't quite follow it as you say it.' + +`That's nothing to what I could say if I chose,' the Duchess replied, in a +pleased tone. + +`Pray don't trouble yourself to say it any longer than that,' said Alice. + +`Oh, don't talk about trouble!' said the Duchess. `I make you a present of +everything I've said as yet.' + +`A cheap sort of present!' thought Alice. `I'm glad they don't give birthday +presents like that!' But she did not venture to say it out loud. + +`Thinking again?' the Duchess asked, with another dig of her sharp little chin. + +`I've a right to think,' said Alice sharply, for she was beginning to feel a +little worried. + +`Just about as much right,' said the Duchess, `as pigs have to fly; and the +m--' + +But here, to Alice's great surprise, the Duchess's voice died away, even in the +middle of her favourite word `moral,' and the arm that was linked into hers +began to tremble. Alice looked up, and there stood the Queen in front of them, +with her arms folded, frowning like a thunderstorm. + +`A fine day, your Majesty!' the Duchess began in a low, weak voice. + +`Now, I give you fair warning,' shouted the Queen, stamping on the ground as +she spoke; `either you or your head must be off, and that in about half no +time! Take your choice!' + +The Duchess took her choice, and was gone in a moment. + +`Let's go on with the game,' the Queen said to Alice; and Alice was too much +frightened to say a word, but slowly followed her back to the croquet-ground. + +The other guests had taken advantage of the Queen's absence, and were resting +in the shade: however, the moment they saw her, they hurried back to the game, +the Queen merely remarking that a moment's delay would cost them their lives. + +All the time they were playing the Queen never left off quarrelling with the +other players, and shouting `Off with his head!' or `Off with her head!' Those +whom she sentenced were taken into custody by the soldiers, who of course had +to leave off being arches to do this, so that by the end of half an hour or so +there were no arches left, and all the players, except the King, the Queen, and +Alice, were in custody and under sentence of execution. + +Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath, and said to Alice, `Have you seen +the Mock Turtle yet?' + +`No,' said Alice. `I don't even know what a Mock Turtle is.' + +`It's the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made from,' said the Queen. + +`I never saw one, or heard of one,' said Alice. + +`Come on, then,' said the Queen, `and he shall tell you his history,' + +As they walked off together, Alice heard the King say in a low voice, to the +company generally, `You are all pardoned.' `Come, THAT'S a good thing!' she +said to herself, for she had felt quite unhappy at the number of executions the +Queen had ordered. + +They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying fast asleep in the sun. (IF you don't +know what a Gryphon is, look at the picture.) `Up, lazy thing!' said the Queen, +`and take this young lady to see the Mock Turtle, and to hear his history. I +must go back and see after some executions I have ordered'; and she walked off, +leaving Alice alone with the Gryphon. Alice did not quite like the look of the +creature, but on the whole she thought it would be quite as safe to stay with +it as to go after that savage Queen: so she waited. + +The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes: then it watched the Queen till she was +out of sight: then it chuckled. `What fun!' said the Gryphon, half to itself, +half to Alice. + +`What IS the fun?' said Alice. + +`Why, SHE,' said the Gryphon. `It's all her fancy, that: they never executes +nobody, you know. Come on!' + +`Everybody says "come on!" here,' thought Alice, as she went slowly after it: +`I never was so ordered about in all my life, never!' + +They had not gone far before they saw the Mock Turtle in the distance, sitting +sad and lonely on a little ledge of rock, and, as they came nearer, Alice could +hear him sighing as if his heart would break. She pitied him deeply. `What is +his sorrow?' she asked the Gryphon, and the Gryphon answered, very nearly in +the same words as before, `It's all his fancy, that: he hasn't got no sorrow, +you know. Come on!' + +So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who looked at them with large eyes full of +tears, but said nothing. + +`This here young lady,' said the Gryphon, `she wants for to know your history, +she do.' + +`I'll tell it her,' said the Mock Turtle in a deep, hollow tone: `sit down, +both of you, and don't speak a word till I've finished.' + +So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes. Alice thought to herself, +`I don't see how he can EVEN finish, if he doesn't begin.' But she waited +patiently. + +`Once,' said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep sigh, `I was a real Turtle.' + +These words were followed by a very long silence, broken only by an occasional +exclamation of `Hjckrrh!' from the Gryphon, and the constant heavy sobbing of +the Mock Turtle. Alice was very nearly getting up and saying, `Thank you, sir, +for your interesting story,' but she could not help thinking there MUST be more +to come, so she sat still and said nothing. + +`When we were little,' the Mock Turtle went on at last, more calmly, though +still sobbing a little now and then, `we went to school in the sea. The master +was an old Turtle--we used to call him Tortoise--' + +`Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one?' Alice asked. + +`We called him Tortoise because he taught us,' said the Mock Turtle angrily: +`really you are very dull!' + +`You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple question,' added +the Gryphon; and then they both sat silent and looked at poor Alice, who felt +ready to sink into the earth. At last the Gryphon said to the Mock Turtle, +`Drive on, old fellow! Don't be all day about it!' and he went on in these +words: + +`Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you mayn't believe it--' + +`I never said I didn't!' interrupted Alice. + +`You did,' said the Mock Turtle. + +`Hold your tongue!' added the Gryphon, before Alice could speak again. The Mock +Turtle went on. + +`We had the best of educations--in fact, we went to school every day--' + +`I'VE been to a day-school, too,' said Alice; `you needn't be so proud as all +that.' + +`With extras?' asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously. + +`Yes,' said Alice, `we learned French and music.' + +`And washing?' said the Mock Turtle. + +`Certainly not!' said Alice indignantly. + +`Ah! then yours wasn't a really good school,' said the Mock Turtle in a tone of +great relief. `Now at OURS they had at the end of the bill, "French, music, AND +WASHING--extra."' + +`You couldn't have wanted it much,' said Alice; `living at the bottom of the +sea.' + +`I couldn't afford to learn it.' said the Mock Turtle with a sigh. `I only took +the regular course.' + +`What was that?' inquired Alice. + +`Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with,' the Mock Turtle replied; `and +then the different branches of Arithmetic-- Ambition, Distraction, +Uglification, and Derision.' + +`I never heard of "Uglification,"' Alice ventured to say. `What is it?' + +The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise. `What! Never heard of +uglifying!' it exclaimed. `You know what to beautify is, I suppose?' + +`Yes,' said Alice doubtfully: `it means--to--make--anything--prettier.' + +`Well, then,' the Gryphon went on, `if you don't know what to uglify is, you +ARE a simpleton.' + +Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any more questions about it, so she turned +to the Mock Turtle, and said `What else had you to learn?' + +`Well, there was Mystery,' the Mock Turtle replied, counting off the subjects +on his flappers, `--Mystery, ancient and modern, with Seaography: then +Drawling--the Drawling-master was an old conger-eel, that used to come once a +week: HE taught us Drawling, Stretching, and Fainting in Coils.' + +`What was THAT like?' said Alice. + +`Well, I can't show it you myself,' the Mock Turtle said: `I'm too stiff. And +the Gryphon never learnt it.' + +`Hadn't time,' said the Gryphon: `I went to the Classics master, though. He was +an old crab, HE was.' + +`I never went to him,' the Mock Turtle said with a sigh: `he taught Laughing +and Grief, they used to say.' + +`So he did, so he did,' said the Gryphon, sighing in his turn; and both +creatures hid their faces in their paws. + +`And how many hours a day did you do lessons?' said Alice, in a hurry to change +the subject. + +`Ten hours the first day,' said the Mock Turtle: `nine the next, and so on.' + +`What a curious plan!' exclaimed Alice. + +`That's the reason they're called lessons,' the Gryphon remarked: `because they +lessen from day to day.' + +This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she thought it over a little before she +made her next remark. `Then the eleventh day must have been a holiday?' + +`Of course it was,' said the Mock Turtle. + +`And how did you manage on the twelfth?' Alice went on eagerly. + +`That's enough about lessons,' the Gryphon interrupted in a very decided tone: +`tell her something about the games now.' + +CHAPTER X - The Lobster Quadrille + +The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and drew the back of one flapper across his +eyes. He looked at Alice, and tried to speak, but for a minute or two sobs +choked his voice. `Same as if he had a bone in his throat,' said the Gryphon: +and it set to work shaking him and punching him in the back. At last the Mock +Turtle recovered his voice, and, with tears running down his cheeks, he went on +again:-- + +`You may not have lived much under the sea--' (`I haven't,' said Alice)-- `and +perhaps you were never even introduced to a lobster--' (Alice began to say `I +once tasted--' but checked herself hastily, and said `No, never') `--so you can +have no idea what a delightful thing a Lobster Quadrille is!' + +`No, indeed,' said Alice. `What sort of a dance is it?' + +`Why,' said the Gryphon, `you first form into a line along the sea-shore--' + +`Two lines!' cried the Mock Turtle. `Seals, turtles, salmon, and so on; then, +when you've cleared all the jelly-fish out of the way--' + +`THAT generally takes some time,' interrupted the Gryphon. + +`--you advance twice--' + +`Each with a lobster as a partner!' cried the Gryphon. + +`Of course,' the Mock Turtle said: `advance twice, set to partners--' + +`--change lobsters, and retire in same order,' continued the Gryphon. + +`Then, you know,' the Mock Turtle went on, `you throw the--' + +`The lobsters!' shouted the Gryphon, with a bound into the air. + +`--as far out to sea as you can--' + +`Swim after them!' screamed the Gryphon. + +`Turn a somersault in the sea!' cried the Mock Turtle, capering wildly about. + +`Change lobsters again!' yelled the Gryphon at the top of its voice. + +`Back to land again, and that's all the first figure,' said the Mock Turtle, +suddenly dropping his voice; and the two creatures, who had been jumping about +like mad things all this time, sat down again very sadly and quietly, and +looked at Alice. + +`It must be a very pretty dance,' said Alice timidly. + +`Would you like to see a little of it?' said the Mock Turtle. + +`Very much indeed,' said Alice. + +`Come, let's try the first figure!' said the Mock Turtle to the Gryphon. `We +can do without lobsters, you know. Which shall sing?' + +`Oh, YOU sing,' said the Gryphon. `I've forgotten the words.' + +So they began solemnly dancing round and round Alice, every now and then +treading on her toes when they passed too close, and waving their forepaws to +mark the time, while the Mock Turtle sang this, very slowly and sadly:-- + +poem{ + +`"Will you walk a little faster?" said a whiting to a snail. "There's a +porpoise close behind us, and he's treading on my tail. See how eagerly the +lobsters and the turtles all advance! They are waiting on the shingle--will +you come and join the dance? + +Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the dance? Will you, +won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the dance? + +"You can really have no notion how delightful it will be When they take us up +and throw us, with the lobsters, out to sea!" But the snail replied "Too far, +too far!" and gave a look askance-- Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he +would not join the dance. Would not, could not, would not, could not, would +not join the dance. Would not, could not, would not, could not, could not join +the dance. + +`"What matters it how far we go?" his scaly friend replied. "There is another +shore, you know, upon the other side. The further off from England the nearer +is to France-- Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance. + + Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the + dance? + Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the + dance?"' + +}poem + +`Thank you, it's a very interesting dance to watch,' said Alice, feeling very +glad that it was over at last: `and I do so like that curious song about the +whiting!' + +`Oh, as to the whiting,' said the Mock Turtle, `they--you've seen them, of +course?' + +`Yes,' said Alice, `I've often seen them at dinn--' she checked herself +hastily. + +`I don't know where Dinn may be,' said the Mock Turtle, `but if you've seen +them so often, of course you know what they're like.' + +`I believe so,' Alice replied thoughtfully. `They have their tails in their +mouths--and they're all over crumbs.' + +`You're wrong about the crumbs,' said the Mock Turtle: `crumbs would all wash +off in the sea. But they HAVE their tails in their mouths; and the reason is--' +here the Mock Turtle yawned and shut his eyes.--`Tell her about the reason and +all that,' he said to the Gryphon. + +`The reason is,' said the Gryphon, `that they WOULD go with the lobsters to the +dance. So they got thrown out to sea. So they had to fall a long way. So they +got their tails fast in their mouths. So they couldn't get them out again. +That's all.' + +`Thank you,' said Alice, `it's very interesting. I never knew so much about a +whiting before.' + +`I can tell you more than that, if you like,' said the Gryphon. `Do you know +why it's called a whiting?' + +`I never thought about it,' said Alice. `Why?' + +`IT DOES THE BOOTS AND SHOES.' the Gryphon replied very solemnly. + +Alice was thoroughly puzzled. `Does the boots and shoes!' she repeated in a +wondering tone. + +`Why, what are YOUR shoes done with?' said the Gryphon. `I mean, what makes +them so shiny?' + +Alice looked down at them, and considered a little before she gave her answer. +`They're done with blacking, I believe.' + +`Boots and shoes under the sea,' the Gryphon went on in a deep voice, `are done +with a whiting. Now you know.' + +`And what are they made of?' Alice asked in a tone of great curiosity. + +`Soles and eels, of course,' the Gryphon replied rather impatiently: `any +shrimp could have told you that.' + +`If I'd been the whiting,' said Alice, whose thoughts were still running on the +song, `I'd have said to the porpoise, "Keep back, please: we don't want YOU +with us!"' + +`They were obliged to have him with them,' the Mock Turtle said: `no wise fish +would go anywhere without a porpoise.' + +`Wouldn't it really?' said Alice in a tone of great surprise. + +`Of course not,' said the Mock Turtle: `why, if a fish came to ME, and told me +he was going a journey, I should say "With what porpoise?"' + +`Don't you mean "purpose"?' said Alice. + +`I mean what I say,' the Mock Turtle replied in an offended tone. And the +Gryphon added `Come, let's hear some of YOUR adventures.' + +`I could tell you my adventures--beginning from this morning,' said Alice a +little timidly: `but it's no use going back to yesterday, because I was a +different person then.' + +`Explain all that,' said the Mock Turtle. + +`No, no! The adventures first,' said the Gryphon in an impatient tone: +`explanations take such a dreadful time.' + +So Alice began telling them her adventures from the time when she first saw the +White Rabbit. She was a little nervous about it just at first, the two +creatures got so close to her, one on each side, and opened their eyes and +mouths so VERY wide, but she gained courage as she went on. Her listeners were +perfectly quiet till she got to the part about her repeating `YOU ARE OLD, +FATHER WILLIAM,' to the Caterpillar, and the words all coming different, and +then the Mock Turtle drew a long breath, and said `That's very curious.' + +`It's all about as curious as it can be,' said the Gryphon. + +`It all came different!' the Mock Turtle repeated thoughtfully. `I should like +to hear her try and repeat something now. Tell her to begin.' He looked at the +Gryphon as if he thought it had some kind of authority over Alice. + +`Stand up and repeat "'TIS THE VOICE OF THE SLUGGARD,"' said the Gryphon. + +`How the creatures order one about, and make one repeat lessons!' thought +Alice; `I might as well be at school at once.' However, she got up, and began +to repeat it, but her head was so full of the Lobster Quadrille, that she +hardly knew what she was saying, and the words came very queer indeed:-- + +poem{ + + `'Tis the voice of the Lobster; I heard him declare, + "You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair." + As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose + Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes.' + + [later editions continued as follows + When the sands are all dry, he is gay as a lark, + And will talk in contemptuous tones of the Shark, + But, when the tide rises and sharks are around, + His voice has a timid and tremulous sound.] + +}poem + +`That's different from what I used to say when I was a child,' said the +Gryphon. + +`Well, I never heard it before,' said the Mock Turtle; `but it sounds uncommon +nonsense.' + +Alice said nothing; she had sat down with her face in her hands, wondering if +anything would EVER happen in a natural way again. + +`I should like to have it explained,' said the Mock Turtle. + +`She can't explain it,' said the Gryphon hastily. `Go on with the next verse.' + +`But about his toes?' the Mock Turtle persisted. `How COULD he turn them out +with his nose, you know?' + +`It's the first position in dancing.' Alice said; but was dreadfully puzzled by +the whole thing, and longed to change the subject. + +`Go on with the next verse,' the Gryphon repeated impatiently: `it begins "I +passed by his garden."' + +Alice did not dare to disobey, though she felt sure it would all come wrong, +and she went on in a trembling voice:-- + +poem{ + + `I passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye, + How the Owl and the Panther were sharing a pie--' + + [later editions continued as follows + The Panther took pie-crust, and gravy, and meat, + While the Owl had the dish as its share of the treat. + When the pie was all finished, the Owl, as a boon, + Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon: + While the Panther received knife and fork with a growl, + And concluded the banquet--] + +}poem + +`What IS the use of repeating all that stuff,' the Mock Turtle interrupted, `if +you don't explain it as you go on? It's by far the most confusing thing I ever +heard!' + +`Yes, I think you'd better leave off,' said the Gryphon: and Alice was only too +glad to do so. + +`Shall we try another figure of the Lobster Quadrille?' the Gryphon went on. +`Or would you like the Mock Turtle to sing you a song?' + +`Oh, a song, please, if the Mock Turtle would be so kind,' Alice replied, so +eagerly that the Gryphon said, in a rather offended tone, `Hm! No accounting +for tastes! Sing her "Turtle Soup," will you, old fellow?' + +The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began, in a voice sometimes choked with +sobs, to sing this:-- + +poem{ + + `Beautiful Soup, so rich and green, + Waiting in a hot tureen! + Who for such dainties would not stoop? + Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup! + Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup! + Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! + Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! + Soo--oop of the e--e--evening, + Beautiful, beautiful Soup! + + `Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish, + Game, or any other dish? + Who would not give all else for two + Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup? + Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup? + Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! + Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! + Soo--oop of the e--e--evening, + Beautiful, beauti--FUL SOUP!' + +}poem + +`Chorus again!' cried the Gryphon, and the Mock Turtle had just begun to repeat +it, when a cry of `The trial's beginning!' was heard in the distance. + +`Come on!' cried the Gryphon, and, taking Alice by the hand, it hurried off, +without waiting for the end of the song. + +`What trial is it?' Alice panted as she ran; but the Gryphon only answered +`Come on!' and ran the faster, while more and more faintly came, carried on the +breeze that followed them, the melancholy words:-- + +poem{ + + `Soo--oop of the e--e--evening, + Beautiful, beautiful Soup!' + +}poem + +CHAPTER XI - Who Stole the Tarts? + +The King and Queen of Hearts were seated on their throne when they arrived, +with a great crowd assembled about them--all sorts of little birds and beasts, +as well as the whole pack of cards: the Knave was standing before them, in +chains, with a soldier on each side to guard him; and near the King was the +White Rabbit, with a trumpet in one hand, and a scroll of parchment in the +other. In the very middle of the court was a table, with a large dish of tarts +upon it: they looked so good, that it made Alice quite hungry to look at +them--`I wish they'd get the trial done,' she thought, `and hand round the +refreshments!' But there seemed to be no chance of this, so she began looking +at everything about her, to pass away the time. + +Alice had never been in a court of justice before, but she had read about them +in books, and she was quite pleased to find that she knew the name of nearly +everything there. `That's the judge,' she said to herself, `because of his +great wig.' + +The judge, by the way, was the King; and as he wore his crown over the wig, +(look at the frontispiece if you want to see how he did it,) he did not look at +all comfortable, and it was certainly not becoming. + +`And that's the jury-box,' thought Alice, `and those twelve creatures,' (she +was obliged to say `creatures,' you see, because some of them were animals, and +some were birds,) `I suppose they are the jurors.' She said this last word two +or three times over to herself, being rather proud of it: for she thought, and +rightly too, that very few little girls of her age knew the meaning of it at +all. However, `jury-men' would have done just as well. + +The twelve jurors were all writing very busily on slates. `What are they +doing?' Alice whispered to the Gryphon. `They can't have anything to put down +yet, before the trial's begun.' + +`They're putting down their names,' the Gryphon whispered in reply, `for fear +they should forget them before the end of the trial.' + +`Stupid things!' Alice began in a loud, indignant voice, but she stopped +hastily, for the White Rabbit cried out, `Silence in the court!' and the King +put on his spectacles and looked anxiously round, to make out who was talking. + +Alice could see, as well as if she were looking over their shoulders, that all +the jurors were writing down `stupid things!' on their slates, and she could +even make out that one of them didn't know how to spell `stupid,' and that he +had to ask his neighbour to tell him. `A nice muddle their slates'll be in +before the trial's over!' thought Alice. + +One of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked. This of course, Alice could not +stand, and she went round the court and got behind him, and very soon found an +opportunity of taking it away. She did it so quickly that the poor little juror +(it was Bill, the Lizard) could not make out at all what had become of it; so, +after hunting all about for it, he was obliged to write with one finger for the +rest of the day; and this was of very little use, as it left no mark on the +slate. + +`Herald, read the accusation!' said the King. + +On this the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, and then unrolled +the parchment scroll, and read as follows:-- + +poem{ + + `The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts, + All on a summer day: + The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts, + And took them quite away!' + +}poem + +`Consider your verdict,' the King said to the jury. + +`Not yet, not yet!' the Rabbit hastily interrupted. `There's a great deal to +come before that!' + +`Call the first witness,' said the King; and the White Rabbit blew three blasts +on the trumpet, and called out, `First witness!' + +The first witness was the Hatter. He came in with a teacup in one hand and a +piece of bread-and-butter in the other. `I beg pardon, your Majesty,' he began, +`for bringing these in: but I hadn't quite finished my tea when I was sent +for.' + +`You ought to have finished,' said the King. `When did you begin?' + +The Hatter looked at the March Hare, who had followed him into the court, +arm-in-arm with the Dormouse. `Fourteenth of March, I think it was,' he said. + +`Fifteenth,' said the March Hare. + +`Sixteenth,' added the Dormouse. + +`Write that down,' the King said to the jury, and the jury eagerly wrote down +all three dates on their slates, and then added them up, and reduced the answer +to shillings and pence. + +`Take off your hat,' the King said to the Hatter. + +`It isn't mine,' said the Hatter. + +`Stolen!' the King exclaimed, turning to the jury, who instantly made a +memorandum of the fact. + +`I keep them to sell,' the Hatter added as an explanation; `I've none of my +own. I'm a hatter.' + +Here the Queen put on her spectacles, and began staring at the Hatter, who +turned pale and fidgeted. + +`Give your evidence,' said the King; `and don't be nervous, or I'll have you +executed on the spot.' + +This did not seem to encourage the witness at all: he kept shifting from one +foot to the other, looking uneasily at the Queen, and in his confusion he bit a +large piece out of his teacup instead of the bread-and-butter. + +Just at this moment Alice felt a very curious sensation, which puzzled her a +good deal until she made out what it was: she was beginning to grow larger +again, and she thought at first she would get up and leave the court; but on +second thoughts she decided to remain where she was as long as there was room +for her. + +`I wish you wouldn't squeeze so.' said the Dormouse, who was sitting next to +her. `I can hardly breathe.' + +`I can't help it,' said Alice very meekly: `I'm growing.' + +`You've no right to grow here,' said the Dormouse. + +`Don't talk nonsense,' said Alice more boldly: `you know you're growing too.' + +`Yes, but I grow at a reasonable pace,' said the Dormouse: `not in that +ridiculous fashion.' And he got up very sulkily and crossed over to the other +side of the court. + +All this time the Queen had never left off staring at the Hatter, and, just as +the Dormouse crossed the court, she said to one of the officers of the court, +`Bring me the list of the singers in the last concert!' on which the wretched +Hatter trembled so, that he shook both his shoes off. + +`Give your evidence,' the King repeated angrily, `or I'll have you executed, +whether you're nervous or not.' + +`I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' the Hatter began, in a trembling voice, `--and +I hadn't begun my tea--not above a week or so--and what with the +bread-and-butter getting so thin--and the twinkling of the tea--' + +`The twinkling of the what?' said the King. + +`It began with the tea,' the Hatter replied. + +`Of course twinkling begins with a T!' said the King sharply. `Do you take me +for a dunce? Go on!' + +`I'm a poor man,' the Hatter went on, `and most things twinkled after +that--only the March Hare said--' + +`I didn't!' the March Hare interrupted in a great hurry. + +`You did!' said the Hatter. + +`I deny it!' said the March Hare. + +`He denies it,' said the King: `leave out that part.' + +`Well, at any rate, the Dormouse said--' the Hatter went on, looking anxiously +round to see if he would deny it too: but the Dormouse denied nothing, being +fast asleep. + +`After that,' continued the Hatter, `I cut some more bread- and-butter--' + +`But what did the Dormouse say?' one of the jury asked. + +`That I can't remember,' said the Hatter. + +`You MUST remember,' remarked the King, `or I'll have you executed.' + +The miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and bread-and-butter, and went down on +one knee. `I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' he began. + +`You're a very poor speaker,' said the King. + +Here one of the guinea-pigs cheered, and was immediately suppressed by the +officers of the court. (As that is rather a hard word, I will just explain to +you how it was done. They had a large canvas bag, which tied up at the mouth +with strings: into this they slipped the guinea-pig, head first, and then sat +upon it.) + +`I'm glad I've seen that done,' thought Alice. `I've so often read in the +newspapers, at the end of trials, "There was some attempts at applause, which +was immediately suppressed by the officers of the court," and I never +understood what it meant till now.' + +`If that's all you know about it, you may stand down,' continued the King. + +`I can't go no lower,' said the Hatter: `I'm on the floor, as it is.' + +`Then you may SIT down,' the King replied. + +Here the other guinea-pig cheered, and was suppressed. + +`Come, that finished the guinea-pigs!' thought Alice. `Now we shall get on +better.' + +`I'd rather finish my tea,' said the Hatter, with an anxious look at the Queen, +who was reading the list of singers. + +`You may go,' said the King, and the Hatter hurriedly left the court, without +even waiting to put his shoes on. + +`--and just take his head off outside,' the Queen added to one of the officers: +but the Hatter was out of sight before the officer could get to the door. + +`Call the next witness!' said the King. + +The next witness was the Duchess's cook. She carried the pepper-box in her +hand, and Alice guessed who it was, even before she got into the court, by the +way the people near the door began sneezing all at once. + +`Give your evidence,' said the King. + +`Shan't,' said the cook. + +The King looked anxiously at the White Rabbit, who said in a low voice, `Your +Majesty must cross-examine THIS witness.' + +`Well, if I must, I must,' the King said, with a melancholy air, and, after +folding his arms and frowning at the cook till his eyes were nearly out of +sight, he said in a deep voice, `What are tarts made of?' + +`Pepper, mostly,' said the cook. + +`Treacle,' said a sleepy voice behind her. + +`Collar that Dormouse,' the Queen shrieked out. `Behead that Dormouse! Turn +that Dormouse out of court! Suppress him! Pinch him! Off with his whiskers!' + +For some minutes the whole court was in confusion, getting the Dormouse turned +out, and, by the time they had settled down again, the cook had disappeared. + +`Never mind!' said the King, with an air of great relief. `Call the next +witness.' And he added in an undertone to the Queen, `Really, my dear, YOU must +cross-examine the next witness. It quite makes my forehead ache!' + +Alice watched the White Rabbit as he fumbled over the list, feeling very +curious to see what the next witness would be like, `--for they haven't got +much evidence YET,' she said to herself. Imagine her surprise, when the White +Rabbit read out, at the top of his shrill little voice, the name `Alice!' + +CHAPTER XII - Alice's Evidence + +`Here!' cried Alice, quite forgetting in the flurry of the moment how large she +had grown in the last few minutes, and she jumped up in such a hurry that she +tipped over the jury-box with the edge of her skirt, upsetting all the jurymen +on to the heads of the crowd below, and there they lay sprawling about, +reminding her very much of a globe of goldfish she had accidentally upset the +week before. + +`Oh, I BEG your pardon!' she exclaimed in a tone of great dismay, and began +picking them up again as quickly as she could, for the accident of the goldfish +kept running in her head, and she had a vague sort of idea that they must be +collected at once and put back into the jury-box, or they would die. + +`The trial cannot proceed,' said the King in a very grave voice, `until all the +jurymen are back in their proper places-- ALL,' he repeated with great +emphasis, looking hard at Alice as he said do. + +Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her haste, she had put the +Lizard in head downwards, and the poor little thing was waving its tail about +in a melancholy way, being quite unable to move. She soon got it out again, and +put it right; `not that it signifies much,' she said to herself; `I should +think it would be QUITE as much use in the trial one way up as the other.' + +As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of being upset, and +their slates and pencils had been found and handed back to them, they set to +work very diligently to write out a history of the accident, all except the +Lizard, who seemed too much overcome to do anything but sit with its mouth +open, gazing up into the roof of the court. + +`What do you know about this business?' the King said to Alice. + +`Nothing,' said Alice. + +`Nothing WHATEVER?' persisted the King. + +`Nothing whatever,' said Alice. + +`That's very important,' the King said, turning to the jury. They were just +beginning to write this down on their slates, when the White Rabbit +interrupted: `UNimportant, your Majesty means, of course,' he said in a very +respectful tone, but frowning and making faces at him as he spoke. + +`UNimportant, of course, I meant,' the King hastily said, and went on to +himself in an undertone, `important--unimportant-- unimportant--important--' as +if he were trying which word sounded best. + +Some of the jury wrote it down `important,' and some `unimportant.' Alice could +see this, as she was near enough to look over their slates; `but it doesn't +matter a bit,' she thought to herself. + +At this moment the King, who had been for some time busily writing in his +note-book, cackled out `Silence!' and read out from his book, `Rule Forty-two. +ALL PERSONS MORE THAN A MILE HIGH TO LEAVE THE COURT.' + +Everybody looked at Alice. + +`I'M not a mile high,' said Alice. + +`You are,' said the King. + +`Nearly two miles high,' added the Queen. + +`Well, I shan't go, at any rate,' said Alice: `besides, that's not a regular +rule: you invented it just now.' + +`It's the oldest rule in the book,' said the King. + +`Then it ought to be Number One,' said Alice. + +The King turned pale, and shut his note-book hastily. `Consider your verdict,' +he said to the jury, in a low, trembling voice. + +`There's more evidence to come yet, please your Majesty,' said the White +Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry; `this paper has just been picked up.' + +`What's in it?' said the Queen. + +`I haven't opened it yet,' said the White Rabbit, `but it seems to be a letter, +written by the prisoner to--to somebody.' + +`It must have been that,' said the King, `unless it was written to nobody, +which isn't usual, you know.' + +`Who is it directed to?' said one of the jurymen. + +`It isn't directed at all,' said the White Rabbit; `in fact, there's nothing +written on the OUTSIDE.' He unfolded the paper as he spoke, and added `It isn't +a letter, after all: it's a set of verses.' + +`Are they in the prisoner's handwriting?' asked another of the jurymen. + +`No, they're not,' said the White Rabbit, `and that's the queerest thing about +it.' (The jury all looked puzzled.) + +`He must have imitated somebody else's hand,' said the King. (The jury all +brightened up again.) + +`Please your Majesty,' said the Knave, `I didn't write it, and they can't prove +I did: there's no name signed at the end.' + +`If you didn't sign it,' said the King, `that only makes the matter worse. You +MUST have meant some mischief, or else you'd have signed your name like an +honest man.' + +There was a general clapping of hands at this: it was the first really clever +thing the King had said that day. + +`That PROVES his guilt,' said the Queen. + +`It proves nothing of the sort!' said Alice. `Why, you don't even know what +they're about!' + +`Read them,' said the King. + +The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. `Where shall I begin, please your +Majesty?' he asked. + +`Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, `and go on till you come to +the end: then stop.' + +These were the verses the White Rabbit read:-- + +poem{ + + `They told me you had been to her, + And mentioned me to him: + She gave me a good character, + But said I could not swim. + + He sent them word I had not gone + (We know it to be true): + If she should push the matter on, + What would become of you? + + I gave her one, they gave him two, + You gave us three or more; + They all returned from him to you, + Though they were mine before. + + If I or she should chance to be + Involved in this affair, + He trusts to you to set them free, + Exactly as we were. + + My notion was that you had been + (Before she had this fit) + An obstacle that came between + Him, and ourselves, and it. + + Don't let him know she liked them best, + For this must ever be + A secret, kept from all the rest, + Between yourself and me.' + +}poem + +`That's the most important piece of evidence we've heard yet,' said the King, +rubbing his hands; `so now let the jury--' + +`If any one of them can explain it,' said Alice, (she had grown so large in the +last few minutes that she wasn't a bit afraid of interrupting him,) `I'll give +him sixpence. _{I}_ don't believe there's an atom of meaning in it.' + +The jury all wrote down on their slates, `SHE doesn't believe there's an atom +of meaning in it,' but none of them attempted to explain the paper. + +`If there's no meaning in it,' said the King, `that saves a world of trouble, +you know, as we needn't try to find any. And yet I don't know,' he went on, +spreading out the verses on his knee, and looking at them with one eye; `I seem +to see some meaning in them, after all. "--SAID I COULD NOT SWIM--" you can't +swim, can you?' he added, turning to the Knave. + +The Knave shook his head sadly. `Do I look like it?' he said. (Which he +certainly did NOT, being made entirely of cardboard.) + +`All right, so far,' said the King, and he went on muttering over the verses to +himself: `"WE KNOW IT TO BE TRUE--" that's the jury, of course-- "I GAVE HER +ONE, THEY GAVE HIM TWO--" why, that must be what he did with the tarts, you +know--' + +`But, it goes on "THEY ALL RETURNED FROM HIM TO YOU,"' said Alice. + +`Why, there they are!' said the King triumphantly, pointing to the tarts on the +table. `Nothing can be clearer than THAT. Then again--"BEFORE SHE HAD THIS +FIT--" you never had fits, my dear, I think?' he said to the Queen. + +`Never!' said the Queen furiously, throwing an inkstand at the Lizard as she +spoke. (The unfortunate little Bill had left off writing on his slate with one +finger, as he found it made no mark; but he now hastily began again, using the +ink, that was trickling down his face, as long as it lasted.) + +`Then the words don't FIT you,' said the King, looking round the court with a +smile. There was a dead silence. + +`It's a pun!' the King added in an offended tone, and everybody laughed, `Let +the jury consider their verdict,' the King said, for about the twentieth time +that day. + +`No, no!' said the Queen. `Sentence first--verdict afterwards.' + +`Stuff and nonsense!' said Alice loudly. `The idea of having the sentence +first!' + +`Hold your tongue!' said the Queen, turning purple. + +`I won't!' said Alice. + +`Off with her head!' the Queen shouted at the top of her voice. Nobody moved. + +`Who cares for you?' said Alice, (she had grown to her full size by this time.) +`You're nothing but a pack of cards!' + +At this the whole pack rose up into the air, and came flying down upon her: she +gave a little scream, half of fright and half of anger, and tried to beat them +off, and found herself lying on the bank, with her head in the lap of her +sister, who was gently brushing away some dead leaves that had fluttered down +from the trees upon her face. + +`Wake up, Alice dear!' said her sister; `Why, what a long sleep you've had!' + +`Oh, I've had such a curious dream!' said Alice, and she told her sister, as +well as she could remember them, all these strange Adventures of hers that you +have just been reading about; and when she had finished, her sister kissed her, +and said, `It WAS a curious dream, dear, certainly: but now run in to your tea; +it's getting late.' So Alice got up and ran off, thinking while she ran, as +well she might, what a wonderful dream it had been. + +But her sister sat still just as she left her, leaning her head on her hand, +watching the setting sun, and thinking of little Alice and all her wonderful +Adventures, till she too began dreaming after a fashion, and this was her +dream:-- + +First, she dreamed of little Alice herself, and once again the tiny hands were +clasped upon her knee, and the bright eager eyes were looking up into hers--she +could hear the very tones of her voice, and see that queer little toss of her +head to keep back the wandering hair that WOULD always get into her eyes--and +still as she listened, or seemed to listen, the whole place around her became +alive the strange creatures of her little sister's dream. + +The long grass rustled at her feet as the White Rabbit hurried by--the +frightened Mouse splashed his way through the neighbouring pool--she could hear +the rattle of the teacups as the March Hare and his friends shared their +never-ending meal, and the shrill voice of the Queen ordering off her +unfortunate guests to execution--once more the pig-baby was sneezing on the +Duchess's knee, while plates and dishes crashed around it--once more the shriek +of the Gryphon, the squeaking of the Lizard's slate-pencil, and the choking of +the suppressed guinea-pigs, filled the air, mixed up with the distant sobs of +the miserable Mock Turtle. + +So she sat on, with closed eyes, and half believed herself in Wonderland, +though she knew she had but to open them again, and all would change to dull +reality--the grass would be only rustling in the wind, and the pool rippling to +the waving of the reeds--the rattling teacups would change to tinkling +sheep-bells, and the Queen's shrill cries to the voice of the shepherd boy--and +the sneeze of the baby, the shriek of the Gryphon, and all the other queer +noises, would change (she knew) to the confused clamour of the busy +farm-yard--while the lowing of the cattle in the distance would take the place +of the Mock Turtle's heavy sobs. + +Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister of hers would, in +the after-time, be herself a grown woman; and how she would keep, through all +her riper years, the simple and loving heart of her childhood: and how she +would gather about her other little children, and make THEIR eyes bright and +eager with many a strange tale, perhaps even with the dream of Wonderland of +long ago: and how she would feel with all their simple sorrows, and find a +pleasure in all their simple joys, remembering her own child-life, and the +happy summer days. + +THE END |